


Uchuu Star

by kimoisuki



Series: KARIMONOGATARI [2]
Category: Bakemonogatari
Genre: Gen, Japanese Culture, Nihilism, Philosophy, Supernatural Elements, Usual Monogatari "Gags"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimoisuki/pseuds/kimoisuki
Summary: "Stop looking at me like that."Numachi Rouka, our very own Wandering Devil, takes a stop at an unassuming village and falls into a situation involving a shooting star and a visitor from outer space.
Series: KARIMONOGATARI [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031013
Comments: 18
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Although this is before the events of the previous installment, I recommend reading through it for context during certain scenes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26258164/chapters/63917533
> 
> Cover art by: @poizonizland

\---

Before we get into this whole ordeal, I want to get one thing straight: all of us are human failures.

If you’ve lived a day in your life, you’ve failed at something.

You’ve failed to protect someone you loved, failed to follow your dreams, failed at being who you wanted to be. No matter what, you’ve failed at something in your life and this failure will follow you until the end of your days. You will continue to fail, you will continue to do things wrong. Hell, just by the act of living, you’re failing to die. From this primordial failure, more will arise, each one multiplying itself like an act of God.

Failure is not a cycle, it is not a tick for removal, it is a tumor lodged so deep in your subconscious that it drains your humanity like a bat drains blood. The more you fail, the more deficiencies appear in your mental state, preventing you from doing better. On and on, one by one, you will be overwhelmed by your failures and die a despicable death, surrounded by pity and by people who think they're better than you.

Or you won’t. You see, it’s all up to your own beliefs and how you deal with it. Every defeat can be learned from, every misstep can be improved on, and so on and so forth. It’s a positive way of looking at something drenched in pessimism, but like all things it comes down to the subjective.

Failure is not set in stone. What some consider a disaster can be a blessing to others, and all that. It changes with your state of mind, like the seasons change around us. While failures will continue to pile up inside your head, you can think of them as building blocks to achieve a state of bliss through ignorance. I’ve seen those who use failure in this manner to become a better representation of humanity. Far better than some Devil with a disability, but again, it comes down to your point of view.

I like to think of such beliefs about failure as pure-bodied ignorance, but I have no room to judge. My own view could be considered overtly nihilistic; so much of it is drenched in the idea of failure being humanity’s core, that unhappiness rules all and death is a coward’s way out. In my belief, we’re all cowards.

Nothing represents humanity as a whole more than running away from failure. We will run and run, sprinting away from the black hole of negativity, and we will never get far. It’s always nearby. It’s always with us, breathing down our necks. It’s always right here, right now, waiting to drown us.

Thankfully, it’s possible to swim through.

I’m comfortable with swimming.

I’m comfortable running alongside it until the day I die.

I’m comfortable being a living, breathing representation of what real failure is.

I’m comfortable knowing that I will continue to ruin, to hurt, to falter, to cause damage.

Failure is, of course, a fundamental part of misery.

That’s what I specialize in, so I keep it close to my heart.

I’ve seen and dealt with many cases of failure. There’s far too many to remember off the top of my head, but there’s always the few that you keep close to your heart, to remind you how far down you can go.

I have one example of failure. It’s my own.

It involves a star.

A star, by definition, is a celestial body, one of the thousands of lights you see when you look at what should be heaven. It represents many things: dreams, ideas, humanity’s place in the universe. It’s an idealistic entity, but what it represents to us living on earth is far from the truth.

From far away, it’s a twinkle of light in the darkness. It lets us know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The truth is only flames.

What a star is, truly, is a ball of fire. Something that can kill upon touch. No, not just by touch. It can kill you right now if it wanted to, by impacting your life on earth. A star, of course, does not have the cognitive thought needed to desire such things, but it’s the principle of the thing.

There is a severe disconnect between what a star really is and what we have made of it in our lives. Stars are nothing more than fire, and we’ve taken them as gods. The constellations, by idea alone, are representing gods by placement on the night sky.

It just doesn’t feel right.

Gods don’t fail.

Stars do.

Every star will become dust. Every star will fail in existing forever. Every star, a failure.

Just like us.

Guess that’s why they’re so dangerous.

But I’ve gotten off topic. I’ve yet to talk about my own failure, one of Numachi Rouka’s many failures as a Devil. It’s not a very noteworthy one, but it’s one of the few that I’ve had such a hand in. I never like interacting with misery.

Still, I don’t regret it. I never did. I never will. This failure is something I’ll keep with me for the rest of my life.

A life full of failure, summed up in one.

No regrets.

None.


	2. Chapter 2

To set the stage: July 4th.

Day one in my week of failure.

I spent most of the day in a train, traveling to the small town of ██████ and arriving at 8 P.M. on the dot. My travel time was comfortable, nothing really noteworthy to mention besides the scenery outside my window. Beautiful forests, beautiful mountains. Those who are trapped in the mechanical jaw known as city life are born wounded, wounded by the inability to see the sun set in places such as these.

I can admit without shame that I have a fondness for nature. I like to think of myself as a simple person, so the simple passion of the outdoors has always appealed to me, deep down. The American writer _Henry David Thoreau_ wrote of such pleasures, although he was living a fraudulent version of what he preached. You could argue that it’s impossible to truly live a nomadic lifestyle in this day and age, which would make me either a refutation of that theory or simply an outlier to the whole thing.

That does, however, raise the question: if I am considered a wandering nomad of a bygone age, why did I wander into a town like this?

To tell you the truth, there was no profound reason for it. I found the village of ██████ on a map one day, and decided to make it the next stop in my travels. This town is just a new place to practice my craft as a Devil; to gain insight into misery and the easiest way to collect it.

Nothing more to it.

Upon disembarking, I collected my bag and made sure to take a mental picture of the view before me. The station was located on a hill overlooking the town below, just far enough away to provide a good view. It was a pretty sight, made notable by the river splitting the town in a 3/4 ratio and the surrounding forest. A view like that would make any visitor wonder what the tourist industry is like for this fair community, but as anyone who has ever lived in a small town would say: it’s never worth the trip.

Well, as someone with no particular interest in sightseeing, I thought it was worth at least a two week stay. Maybe three.

Thus I began my wandering for the night; not for indulging myself in this town’s non-existence nightlife, but to get a visual grasp on my new surroundings to better plan for my services. We as human beings underestimate the power an environment can have on growing minds; every single detail in a town’s layout and planning represents a building block in the psyche of its residents. To provide an example, think about the room you reside in at the end of the day: how messy, spacious, organized, or well-designed it is, all the myriad of ways it can impact you. For some, a messy room is a chaotic nightmare; for others, an overly clean room is inhuman and sterile. More often than not, it’s a subconscious influence, making you blame other factors in your life for your own malaise.

From the town’s layout alone,, I could tell that the people in charge had little grasp on how to care for children. Neglected playgrounds, schools looking brand new but with the areas surrounding them looking almost downtrodden; it was a textbook case of mismatched priorities by government officials, but getting into politics is unbefitting of me. The point is that the environment for children to play in was neglected, so there was more pressure on parents to provide a good home life for the stability of their children’s minds. Bad parenting can send a growing mind into a state from which cannot recover, that state of perpetual misery I’ve grown so fond of.

That said, all of this is speculation. Mere guesses, none of them educated.

Feel free to point out how wrong I am in every way.

I want you to remember to doubt me as this goes on. Everything I say should be taken with a shaker of salt and a chance that I’m speaking nothing but bullshit.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m nothing but a failure.

Never trust a failure.

Never.

And so my wandering that night drew to a close. I was able to find this nice park near the shopping district, within it a few benches underneath the trees. All of those were prime locations for a good night’s sleep.

I know what you’re thinking: wasn’t I worried about getting caught?

To be honest, I was. Every day as a nomad is filled with risk, especially if you’re of a younger age as I am. My primary fear was being caught by adults, but there are a great many things that can happen to someone who wanders. That’s why you plan ahead, another reason why I was so fond of this small town. Less chance of running into anyone late at night, with only a slight increase in the probability of a serial killer looking for their next victim. I’m a light sleeper with an even lighter step, so I could deal with either situation should they arise.

Using my bag of clothes as a pillow, I got myself comfortable on the bench and relaxed. There wasn’t much noise during the night, only a passing car once every few moments and the wind rustling the trees. It was soothing.

Another benefit of small towns is the ability to see the stars above you during the night. I spent a few weeks in a city once, and every night was boring without the stars above my head. I’m not particularly interested in astrology, but I can see the appeal of a starry night sky and what it might represent to others. I can safely assume that a starry night can calm some down; that the stars are telltale signs for your place in the world. What’s more comforting than knowing you’re minuscule in comparison to the universe itself?

I thought it was pretty. Nothing more to it.

Just something to look at as I begin to drift to sleep.

Nothing special, just like white noise.

White noise means nothing.

This is nothing.

...

But unfortunately; during the early morning of July 5th, my second day in failure, I was abruptly awoken by something.

Something in particular.

Water splashing my face, and a cheshire grin in the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

I don’t like handcuffs.

This is for obvious reasons. One of them being the sensation of cold metal against warm skin. It’s unnerving, almost authoritarian. Something hard and cold against something warm and fallible. It’s holding someone hostage by the concept of the modern day, letting them know there’s nothing to be done; they’re trapped in the makings of our modern world forever.

There’s also the fact that they are used to hold someone hostage in practical terms, as I was now. Pair of handcuffs, one around my right wrist and the other around the metal pole in the back of the chair I was sitting on. This position did not technically trap me in place, as I was free to walk off with the chair cuffed to me, but knowing my current situation... That would be unwise. 

Let me explain.

After I was rudely jarred awake, my vision was hazy and my hearing worse off. Although I tend to wake up early, I am the polar opposite of a morning person. This fact alone makes mornings more of a blur for me than a memory, even in such extraordinary circumstances.

What I could remember was a girl in a high school uniform. She was fairly tall, hair to her waist, and what looked to be a broom in her hands. I couldn’t make out any facial features or eye color, but she was brandishing the broom like a weapon, yelling something about lightning.

Unfortunately, this is where my memory ends. I think you can make a guess as to what happened next.

When I woke up, I was handcuffed to the chair, illuminated by the sunlight coming in from the window in the small room. At first glance, it appeared to be the student council room. In it: a table with more chairs, a whiteboard, my crutch placed against a wall, bookshelves containing textbooks on various subjects, and a globe on the table with sticky notes on every single country. Nothing was written on the whiteboard, and each sticky note had the name of the country it resided on.

It was a little boring, but it seemed normal enough.

This room wasn’t for capturing the homeless and doing horrible things to them.

At least, I hoped not.

I scooted my seat over to the window and peered outside. Thanks to my earlier exploration, I was able to map out a faint idea on the town’s geography and layout, so I could deduce that the park I was taken from was a far distance away from my current location.

There was no clock in the room, so I attempted to see what time of day it was by the sun’s placement. Possibly 1 P.M., with a margin of error in the hour range from either direction.

This could mean a few things. One was immediately evident: whoever kidnapped me knew how to knock someone out. Although I didn’t feel any residual sting of pain on my face, there was a chance that I was still in a state of shock from the assault.

Of course, there was a far more practical reason I was out cold for so long, this one far more realistic.

Sleep deprivation.

Traveling long distances can do a number on someone.

I barely slept during my travels, so my body took this latest trauma as an excuse to take some time off. After a certain level of exhaustion, your body adapts to the stress and you survive off the very same fumes you’ve produced by overworking. There was a high chance my body was in that state previously, which means I could still be in that state now.

Thus I decided that I shouldn’t tempt fate with my escape from this situation. I had to take this carefully, each step calculated and executed with the least amount of effort possible. Any misstep and I could be in a far worse position.

That brings me to the obvious question: why would a high school student kidnap a homeless girl? Why would she bring her to school, instead of some abandoned building to perform rituals?

A few theories came to mind, but none of them made much sense. If she was going to bring adults into it, she would’ve done so the minute she saw me on the bench. If this was for some experiment or ritual —speaking as someone who used to read too much manga— she wouldn’t have brought me to her school. Not to mention, I’ve been here for almost a full day now.

All of this added to the mystery surrounding my capture.

But just as I was beginning to hop my chair over to the door, two school girls entered the room. Along with that damned cheshire grin.

The grin in question was worn by the taller one, standing almost 20 centimeters higher than the girl accompanying her. They both wore the high school’s uniform, neither breaking the code of conduct. If they assumed I was part of the student body, as in one of my theories about their possible motive, then I probably looked like a delinquent to them.

It wouldn’t be far off, to be fair.

The tall one had hair down to her waist, wearing a nice lily pin in her bangs and a pair of square glasses perched above that awful grin. The shorter one was almost unnoticeable in comparison; all she wore was a ponytail with the school uniform, and she was just too normal for this situation.

Knowing those who conformed to normalcy so meticulously, there was a good chance she had some skeletons in her closet.

I had no interest in revealing them.

I have enough to worry about as it is.

I waved amicably with my free hand, making no attempt to scoot back toward the table.

“Good afternoon. Apologies for ruining your plans for a table-side chat, but I like to exert some control over my situation.” I spoke clearly, so they could hear every word.

The tall one spoke first, her voice as boisterous as I expected. “Kahahaha! I half expected you to be miles away from here by now, but I’m glad you decided to stick around.”

The bespectacled girl dragged one of the chairs across the floor and placed it in front of me, sitting almost too close for comfort. Her companion sat properly at the table, opening a notebook.

“First thing’s first, I should introduce myself.”

The girl in front of me pushed back her glasses and sat up straight.

“Inazuma Chikaze, Student Council Vice-President, at your service.”

Ina... zuma?

What kind of name is that?

It threw me off, to say the least.

“I can see how bewildered you are, but not to worry. We have no plans to hurt you. Well, beyond what I’ve already done.” She grinned once again.

“I appreciate it, but I would prefer if you hadn’t hurt me in the first place. You could’ve caused something permanent.”

“I can promise you, there will be no permanent damage. The forehead is the most resilient area on the body to blunt force trauma.”

“Is this something you’ve learned from experience?”

“Khahaha, nah. I studied.”

“Well, even if it was well-aimed, it’s still blunt force.”

“Blunt force used for a good cause, so it balances out.”

“It doesn’t at all.”

She began laughing, almost like a vulture.

She certainly felt like a vulture to me, picking apart my body.

That doesn’t bode well.

“You’re so funny! I like you, I wish I didn’t have to give you up after this is over.”

“Yeah, I think we’ve been avoiding why I was kidnapped for far too long.”

“Let’s avoid it a little longer. Are you hungry? Neither of us had the time to get any food for you during school, so I can send Tamatsu-senpai out to get something from the cafeteria.”

The shorter girl, now identified as Tamatsu, gave a quick wave before returning to her writing. She didn’t even look up.

“Let’s just say I lost my appetite the minute I woke up inside an unfamiliar room, handcuffed to a chair.” I wiggled my cuffed hand to make a point.

“Oh, well I’m glad we don’t have to spend any more money than necessary.”

Inazuma relaxed on her seat, leaning back and rubbing the back of her head.

“The reason we kidnapped you is simple. We want to learn more about you.”

“... What?”

“You see, Tamatsu-senpai saw you wandering around town, and after notifying me, we figured out your situation. You’re homeless, aren’t you?”

“That’s an assumption you shouldn’t be making about someone.”

“Oh? Why shouldn’t we be making this assumption?”

“Not enough evidence. Someone walking alone at night isn’t that strange, there are far too many possibilities besides homelessness. Not to mention the fact that you could’ve stolen a father’s pride and joy this morning.”

“No father would be okay with their daughter carrying their clothes out of the house and sleeping in a park.”

“Do you know that for certain? Do you know the state of every household in Japan?”

She glared at me, blowing air out of her nose, but continued.

“I don’t, but it doesn’t matter. We figured it out after you fell asleep on the bench. You were either running away from home or ran away long ago.”

“I’d love to hear how you came to this conclusion.”

“You weren’t going anywhere. You were just... wandering around.”

“That’s true, I was.”

“No one wanders outside the first night in a new town. You were running away.”

“How can I be running away from home if I wasn’t running from something in the first place? It doesn’t make a lot of sense. I wouldn’t wander the same neighborhood I was trying to escape, would I?”

She groaned and sat up straight, her face getting close to mine, almost too close for comfort.

“Listen, I just know. There doesn’t have to be a reason for me to know.”

“That’s fair, I won’t argue further. If you wish for me to spell it out, then yes; I’m homeless.”

“...”

She moved her face away from mine and leaned back, laughing raucously.

“Khahahahaha! I knew it! Didn’t I tell you, Tamatsu-senpai?”

“Yes, yes you did, Inazuma. I’m proud of you,” Tamatsu responded. Her voice was soft, almost inaudible.

I tried to steer the conversation in the right direction. “Haha, yes, you’ve caught me. Now, Inazuma-san, was it?”

“Yes, Inazuma Chikaze.”

“Right, right. Care to tell me why you knocked out a homeless girl and stole her from the street?”

“Well, we want to learn more about you.”

“Yes, but for what reason? Learning about someone doesn’t usually entail knocking them out and cuffing them to a chair.”

“You didn’t seem the type who would talk to people like us. We only need to know about your situation.”

“Are you writing a report?”

“Nah, an essay. Going straight to the mayor, along with your word if you decide to cooperate after this.”

Ah, so this is what it’s about.

Idealistic fools.

Well, they don’t have the execution down, but it’s the thought that counts.

“I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves then, if you need my word for a political message.”

“You’re very right, khahaha! We’re wasting precious time on trivial details.”

Inazuma scooted her chair back, her smile wide but less intense than before.

“First thing, we haven’t caught your name yet.”

“No, no you haven’t. It’s a little rude, isn’t it?”

“Do you want me to apologize?”

“No, don’t worry about it. If you need my name... I guess you can call me Devil.”

I didn’t want to provide my actual name. Knowing my word was going to be used for a political statement, I would like any legalities ignored.

“Devil, huh? Alright, Devil-san. Next question: did your parents kick you out?”

“No, they didn’t.”

“Was your home life stable?”

“It was normal, decent.”

“Did any of your friends have issues at home?”

“No. With what friends I had, they had similar lives. Normal.”

“Hrmm... Why did you run away then?”

“My own personal reasons.”

“What would those be?”

“Nothing really important, just that I needed a change of pace. Since I lost my scholarship, I had no reason to stay in school.”

“How did you lose your scholarship?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice it when you were dragging me here.”

I lifted up the leg of my pants where my cast resided. I knocked on it a few times, just to let it sink in.

“Not to mention the fact you brought my crutch here with me.”

“Oh, that’s... That’s rough.” She almost looked ashamed to have roughened me up. Almost.

“Very. It’s a stress fracture, not very conducive to playing basketball. I have to wear this for the rest of my life.”

“I can’t imagine how that must feel.”

“I don’t think you brought me here to pity me, so I’d like you to spare me with that.”

“Khahaha, you’re right!”

Back on track in an instant. She was quick to bounce from dips in mood, I almost envied her for it.

“So, losing your scholarship made you run away from home. When did that happen?”

“A few months ago, give or take. In the spring.”

“Don’t you feel awful, doing that to your parents?”

“A little bit, but it’s for the better.”

“Running away from home is never for the better.”

“Although my home life isn’t unstable, instability in a child’s life can usually be resolved by running away.”

“That’s completely wrong.”

“Then what do you think the best course of action would be for someone in a bad situation at home?”

“An outside party can contact child safety services.”

“Perhaps, that’s a possibility. But that’s a form of running away, isn’t it? Not to mention, the government isn’t perfect. You’re keeping me here for that very same reason, right?”

“Then what would you do if someone close to you was in a bad situation at home?”

“Tell them to not worry about it. It’ll be handled over time.”

“Bullshit!”

The thunderous girl stomped both of her feet on the floor, standing up from her seat. The grin flipped upside down, twisting into a scowl.

Pushing her buttons was too much fun.

“Of course, I agree with what you’ve told me as well. I would contact the government, but I accept that there is the possibility of failure. A more qualified party can handle such a situation better than I, but a ‘more qualified’ party is just that: those with expertise in that area. They’re still prone to the same mistakes.”

“So what, you’re saying to just ignore it if they can’t do anything?”

“Not ignore it. Acknowledge it, and let time take its course. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“That’s the same thing! You’re ignoring the problem by just letting it exist!”

“Nothing lasts forever, Inazuma-san. Even if a problem exists, it won’t exist for long.”

Everything dies in the end.

This too shall pass.

A failure to keep on living.

“Then why didn’t you practice what you preached? You ran away from home, didn’t you? Isn’t that taking an active role in your life?”

“You keep saying that, but I disagree. I didn’t run away from home. I decided it wasn’t for me, and that was that.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“You can believe whatever you want to believe.”

Inazuma paused, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. After a few seconds, she opened them again and smiled.

“You’re right, I will believe whatever I want to believe.”

She then grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me up out of the chair. Since it was connected to my wrist, it unfortunately followed me up.

Between the weight of the chair and my body, my shirt was close to ripping.

How do I get myself into these situations?

“I believe you’re a snot-nosed brat who thinks they know how the world works when they don’t know anything! Nothing at all!” Inazuma spoke loud and clear, her smile twisting into something frightening.

“Inazuma.”

Tamatsu finally spoke up, closing the notebook in front of her. Inazuma responded in turn by dropping me back on the chair.

“Tamatsu-senpai, I’m sorry for my outburst.”

“I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to.”

“... Euuughh, fine.”

Inazuma looked down to me and blew air out of her nose.

“I’m sorry, Devil-san.”

“It’s... It’s nothing to worry about. Our debate did get a little heated.”

“Khahaha, that’s for sure!”

Back to smiling.

Bounced back in an instant.

She pushed up her glasses and looked to Tamatsu. “I’m going to take a break. You have fun with our friendly Devil, my beloved senpai.”

Tamatsu only nodded, staring at me. Staring straight at me.

Inazuma looked back to me and started laughing. Between her and the situation I was in, I half expected the Yakuza to be behind this.

“Be seeing you, Devil-san.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it. Sayonara.”

“Tch... Sayonara.”

She turned on her heel and walked out of the door, hopefully out of my life.


	4. Chapter 4

I don’t trust normal.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, per se. The definition is too abstract and subjective to really have a good or bad connotation. What is normal to you can be abnormal to another, and vice versa. Of course, that’s ignoring the fact that there is a large population of people in this world who have very similar views on what ‘normal’ means.

It’s a social construct, a byproduct of repeated standards over a period of time. If someone acts different than you and your community, you consider that abnormal, deep down. I’ll admit, I viewed Inazuma much like someone meeting a foreigner for the first time. That unease, that uncertainty as to whether what I’m seeing and who I’m speaking to is human. She isn’t normal, not by a long shot.

But once you understand the abnormal, you start to appreciate it more than the normal you know. I would like to never see Inazuma again, but if given the chance to speak with her more I knew I would get close to her. I don’t like violence, but as long as she doesn’t point it at me, there’s room for enjoyment.

Abnormal is uncertain.

Uncertainty can lead to new discoveries, new people, new ways of thinking.

In so doing, they lead to happiness, to joy, to fulfillment.

Normalcy leads nowhere.

That’s why I didn’t like the girl in front of me very much. She was too quiet, too well mannered.

Too normal.

I was probably a hypocrite making such an assumption about someone at first glance, but I didn’t mind.

Being a hypocrite isn’t a bad thing.

After Inazuma left, the only one here was the one called Tamatsu. She had her gaze firmly locked on me for some time, enough to stand out. I went along with it at first, assuming that she would speak up before long.

Almost five minutes passed.

I decided to take the initiative.

“... Tamatsu, was it?”

“Yes, that is my name.”

“Care to tell me if there’s something wrong with my face, Tamatsu-san?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. Inazuma-san is not a liar.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it. Why is it you’re staring at me like that, then?”

“I’m simply trying to figure you out.”

“... Figure me out, huh? Is the interview off the table?”

“Not at all, Devil-san. You aren’t sitting at the table in the first place.”

And she continued to stare. Unblinking.

I sighed and attempted to relax in my seat. I reached into my pocket for some gum, but was severely disappointed to find I left my supply in my bag.

That never bodes well for my mood.

“Where did you two leave my bag?”

“It’s in storage. We’ll hand it back once our investigation is finished.”

“Can you tell Inazuma-san to bring me some gum from the back pocket?”

“I’m afraid she’s preoccupied for the time being.”

“I thought she was taking a break.”

“A break to her is not the same as a break to you.”

“Hahaha, maybe so. I don’t know much about her, but I can make a few assumptions.”

“You can, yes. There’s no one else I’d rather have working with me.”

“Ah, so you’re the president then.”

Tamatsu gave me a small nod, and continued to stare.

This lasted for several more minutes. I tried to stare back at her, almost like a staring contest, but it grew boring quickly.

I began tapping on my leg, growing antsy. From what I could tell about the sun’s placement outside the window, it was approaching 2 P.M., give or take.

She finally cleared her throat and opened the notebook in front of her once more, jotting something down.

“I think we’re ready to begin. I apologize for the wait, Devil-san.” She spoke plainly, finally relenting her eerie gaze.

“It’s alright, I’m not missing much by staying here anyway. Do you think you’ve figured me out now?”

“I’ve figured out a part of you, yes.”

She locked eyes with me once more.

“You’re a fool.”

“A fool, huh?”

“Yes, a fool. I was trying to see what other lies you’ve told Inazuma and I, but it seems you haven’t been lying about what’s important. You really have no care in your wandering, which depresses me to realize.”

“You thought by kidnapping me from the street, you’d get some sob story, right?”

“Wrong. Neither of us are crying, so it cannot be qualified as a sob story. We expected someone who valued their life more than you. We were unlucky.”

“Sorry for ending the winning streak. What you see is what you get with me.”

“That’s another lie. We both know that. I know you’re hiding something, but the reason why you wander is not one of them.”

“What do you think I’m lying about then? I’d like to think I’ve been very straightforward with you.”

“For one, your name isn’t Devil. That’s a title, possibly tied to your wandering.”

“You may be right, although my parents could be forward thinkers, willing to go against the grain.”

“I’m not willing to humor you with these hypotheticals. There’s nothing funny about any of this.”

“I don’t know, I’m finding it pretty funny. Two high school students, thinking they’re going to make a difference, kidnapping a homeless girl off the street for an essay. It’s like a comedy of errors.”

“A comedy is not a comedy if no one laughs, so you’re wrong. What we have here is a tragedy.”

Tamatsu began rubbing one of her eyes as she continued. “We cannot proceed with this essay if our interviewee is unwilling to cooperate. It’s been called off. In thirty minutes, we’re getting the principal and he will know what to do next about your situation.”

“I don’t think I agree with that, Tamatsu-san.”

“I know you won’t, but you don’t have a choice. You’re unwell, believing in delusions that are negatively impacting your life. You’re a fool. But...”

She pointed a finger at me, her stare unbroken. Her face barely showed any emotion during this time.

“You’re an interesting fool.”

“Huh?”

“Although you’re living a self-destructive lifestyle that will be your undoing one day, I have been captivated by your views and your mannerisms. I’ve never met anyone like you in my life. I want to know more.”

Looks like I got a fan.

I don’t know what she’s seeing in me, but it does make me feel appreciated in some way.

Even the Devil has followers.

“Well, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I’m not really that complex. I don’t have any views that you’d find interesting.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Come to the table, please.”

I scooted my chair up to the table, trying not to make too much noise. Although Tamatsu seemed to be more mild mannered than Inazuma, I wasn’t taking any chances.

“I think the first topic we should go over is your beliefs, as they were the first thing that interested me about you. ‘Let things run their course,’ right?” Tamatsu began speaking, still in that monotone.

“Yeah, there’s no real reason to worry about most things.”

“Why is that, I wonder?”

“Well, I think it’s tied to the idea of an expiration date. Nothing lasts forever, everything dies at some point in time. Putting in the effort to fix something is far worse than saving your energy and letting whatever plagues you die off.”

“Do you believe that to be true every time, with every issue?”

“You could say that, yeah. Almost every issue can be solved by ignoring it, running away from it.”

“Mind if I give you an example, to test your hypothesis?”

“I don’t mind. Go ahead.”

“Imagine a situation involving school-wide bullying. I can imagine you saying that they’ll forget about the person being bullied over time, but it is not that simple. Certain bullies are ruthless, seeing apathy as a sign for more invasive and harmful tactics. As student council president, I’ve seen a few instances of this very thing.

“Rumors spread, and those being bothered by the student body become further vilified. If they’re unable to back themselves up, or unwilling in your case, things become worse. They could be harassed outside of school, or something far worse, if things continue.”

“You’re coming from the angle that someone cements their bullying through apathy of the victim, but I disagree. You’re right that bullying starts through dislike of something abnormal, but it can be exacerbated by those who fight back against their oppressors. Odds are, people bully to feel better about themselves. To feel better about their standing as a human, to know they can have a certain effect on someone.

“When a bully gets a rise out of their victim, they know they have made an impact on someone. They took away someone’s comfort, leeching their happiness and using it as their own. Those deemed weak don’t deserve joy, in their minds. Well, that’s a worst-case scenario. Most often than not, it’s subconscious behavior. People just like making an impact, they like knowing they have traded negativity for a person’s happiness.”

“So you suggest inactivity and ignoring the problem is better than facing it in this instance?”

“If you aren’t willing to let them take or give you anything, then nothing changes. You’re not taking their bad will, or letting them take your happiness. Of course, things can get physical, but that’s a rarity. Bullying someone who gives nothing back to you is just a net loss. No benefit.”

“That’s an interesting way to think, Devil-san.”

“Is it? I don’t find it very interesting, myself. It’s not a big deal.”

“It isn’t a big deal, but it’s interesting. You can learn a lot about someone by small beliefs such as these.”

“Hahaha, you’re right.”

She scratched her temple and closed her book, putting it to the side.

“I’ll keep the rest of this outside any potential essay we write.”

“I thought you gave up on writing that essay, Tamatsu-san.”

“That doesn’t mean we have given up on any future essays. I’ve had a mind to write something regarding Kusarijou’s bullying problem for some time now.”

“Is that the name of the school?”

“Yes, it is. Apologies for not giving an official welcome. Welcome to Kusarijou High School.”

“Nice name. Wonder how it’s written.”

“You’ll find out once you see the front gate. I haven’t memorized it myself.”

“And you call yourself the student council president?”

“I call myself someone who has more to worry about than memorizing kanji.”

“What do you have to worry about?”

“Unlike you, I’m still in school. School work, my duties as council president, and my home life. From what I know about you so far, you like to pretend you haven’t a care in the world.”

“You aren’t far off the mark, to be honest.”

“So casting judgment at me for deciding what to spend my time on is a mistake on your part, Devil-san.”

“You’re right, you’re right.”

Tamatsu sighed and rubbed both her eyes.

“You tired?” I asked her.

“No, I’m not. I’m exhausted, but I am not tired.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Exhaustion can be recovered from without sleeping. Tiredness cannot.”

“Then you should take a break, Tamatsu-san. Don’t trouble yourself over me.”

“I won’t take a break until I find out one more thing about you. I’ve been contemplating a few ideas since we brought you here, and now I am at an impasse.”

“What have you been contemplating?”

“Why you wander. I know you do not care for your parents much, nor do you have a worry regarding your own life as a nomad, but there must be a reason for it. I know there is a reason you wander, and I wish to know.”

“You really wanna know? It’s not very interesting.”

“This will be the only time I will allow you to humor me, Devil-san.”

“Fine, I’ll let you know.”

I took a deep breath.

Why was I about to tell her about my service? Well, to be honest, I didn’t really know myself.

Maybe it was the way she talked. She was soothing, easy to listen to. She never really argued, always listened, always at the ready.

Even if her mannerisms are normal, she has crafted that normalcy into a fine weapon.

I should take notes.

“I collect misery.”

“You collect misery? Are you suggesting you collect emotions from others?”

“Precisely. I collect people’s worries, their stresses, their bad emotions, so that they can be free from them. So they won’t worry about it.”

“How do you do so?”

“They give me a call. I spread rumors about my services, mainly with middle school kids. It starts out with only one call a day, but word spreads. Normally it takes three weeks for a student body to be aware of my existence.”

“I can guess you say the same thing to them as you did to us today.”

“Hahaha, you’re half right. I tell them not to worry about it, but I also let them know I handle it. Those with problems they can’t handle are relieved by the idea of someone else handling it for them.”

“And you don’t do anything to assist them?”

“You’re right, I don’t. I never handle it. I lie. But the issue gets resolved through time and running away from the problem. There’s nothing wrong with running away; this is a testament to that fact.”

“I find it hard to believe that their issues are always resolved through time.”

“You’re free to think I’m lying, but I am telling the truth.”

“Why do you collect misery?”

“I have nothing better to do.”

“I know you’re lying, Devil-san.”

“Why would I lie about this? Once you send me off to the government, I’m out of your hair. No reason for me to lie.”

“...”

She paused and took a deep breath.

I feel this is a common theme with the student council. They don’t like opposing facts, and that cognitive dissonance overwhelms them. Anyone in a position of power feels the same way.

“Devil-san, I’ll be right back. I’m bringing you lunch. Apologies that it has taken this long.”

She got up from her seat, taking the notebook with her.

“Once I’m back, I would love to continue our discussions. If this is going to be the last time I meet you, I want to soak in everything I can,” she continued.

“I’ll be up for it, just don’t get upset if you don’t like what I have to say.”

“I’ll do my best. I’ll be right back.”

And then she was out the door.

Leaving me in a situation I’d very much prefer not to be in.

Contacting child safety services, ending my time as a Devil, examining me like a criminal. To be fair, I was likely the closest these two would get to a criminal, but I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve helped people, if anything.

Still, they put me in this situation, and I needed to find a way out.

Simply bringing the chair with me is one idea, but if given chase it would slow me down. Not to mention the fact that I would be carrying this chair for the rest of my days. If I did, that would be stolen property.

I’d rather not steal something that I can’t eat.

So, what were my options?

I looked at what was available to me in the room. Books? No. The globe? No. Chairs? Already got one.

I did, however, see something interesting.

A paperclip.

For those who know where this is going, I had experience with this back in middle school. For those who don’t, I’ll explain.

A paperclip can be unfolded into a metal rod, bendable by the lightest amount of force, but strong enough to work inside handcuffs, given the right size. Thankfully, I had the right size here.

Using my hands behind my back, I stuck one end of the paperclip all the way into the lock and bent it long ways to make a short L shape. Using this L shape, I placed it inside the lock and turned it like it was a key, rotating inside the handcuffs. After a few minutes of fiddling, I finally heard a click.

I was free.

I grabbed my crutch and walked out the door into the upper hallways of the school. I needed to hurry, to make sure Tamatsu or, god forbid, Inazuma wouldn’t catch me.

I never wanted to see that place again.


	5. Chapter 5

This was my first time being in a high school.

Although I was in a hurry, I didn’t rush myself more than necessary. For one, a disabled girl walking as fast as she can summons more attention than necessary. Another reason was simply: I was curious.

Ever since I lost my scholarship, I never imagined myself stepping inside a high school for the rest of my life. It was unthinkable. I didn’t wish to continue schooling, along with the fact I didn’t want to interact with a student population more than necessary for my services. But here I was, walking down the halls of this fine academy.

The school seemed to be fairly well off, as I suspected when I surveyed the neighborhood last night. Clean windows, clean hallways, a cork-board located next to the stairs on each floor. With a quick glance at the board, I noticed it was very close to exam week.

I was glad not to be in their shoes.

I found the storage room during my walk to the stairs, although it appeared to be locked. That was unfortunate. I’ve carried that bag since I started my wandering, and it housed a good many of my supplies, including my clothes. This meant I needed to find other options for clothing.

That meant money.

Although I offer a service, I do not take any financial compensation. It wasn’t due to my morals, but a distaste in receiving money for my duties, not to mention the risks presented with meeting someone directly. Being in this school was enough of a risk as is. 

I was walking slower than usual on my way out, something I should’ve rectified. Thankfully, the student body was deep in their classes and I was able to walk through without much attention given to me.

During this walk, I began reflecting on the last twenty-four hours.

This is not what I expected when I took a train here.

I didn’t expect any of this.

This made my journey here quite a learning experience. A few things to take note of, to make sure the next town I stay in would not have worse outcomes. Of course, the most important lesson I learned was to not sleep out in the open. That was the biggest mistake I made in those past twenty-four hours.

Hopefully, with enough forethought, this would be the end of this whole situation.

I walked out of the front door onto the campus and took in the landscape around me. Football field, track meeting, and a line of trees surrounding the footpath to the gate. Picturesque is one word that came to mind, something you’d see in a manga. A thought came to me that this _was_ a manga I was in, but I tossed that away as another delusion.

If anything, Tamatsu was right.

This isn’t an action-packed manga, full of excitement and strong morals.

It’s a tragedy.

Everything up to this moment and beyond is a tragedy.

But of course, that’s if you view it through neutral eyes. To me, I didn’t bother too much with the negatives. The negatives exist, but they aren’t in focus.

My focus is the misery of others.

That’s all I need.

Nothing more to it.

When I finally reached the gate to the school, ready to leave the grounds...

I heard footsteps.

Well, this is hindsight speaking. They didn’t sound like footsteps.

They sounded like a machine, moving at high speeds.

I didn’t need to look behind me to know what was approaching. 

I knew.

I tossed my crutch into a bush next to the gate and then, in the best of my ability, I sprinted off in the direction that I believed would get me as far away from my stalker as possible. The layout of the neighborhood surrounding the school was complicated, to say the least. This allowed a lot of narrow turns and shortcuts, perfect for someone being chased.

You may ask why I was able to run as fast as I was, despite me wearing this cast and my stress fracture. Well, to put it plainly, I wasn’t lying about my stress fracture. The doctor told me I’d never walk again with my leg in that state.

But I got better.

As a Devil should.

I don’t tell others about this situation, since it’s more trouble than it’s worth. There’s also the fact that it’s easier to get donations from others when they pity you. Someone sees a young girl with a cast on her leg, and the uncharitable becomes the definition of saintly. Of course this charity is self-serving, but I still come out with a net positive. It has helped me more than I would like to admit, albeit without dignity. I detest being pitied, but it’s better to keep an act up in all forms of company so the lie stays consistent.

Of course, I couldn’t keep up the act now.

Keeping up the act would mean losing my way of life.

I probably looked like a buffoon with my cast hitting the ground, affecting my stride. It was a ridiculous sight, uncanny. Thankfully I wasn’t slowed down as much as I expected, since I was able to stay away from my stalker as I ran.

I made a left turn at one of the street corners, now in plain sight of a busy restaurant. I couldn’t tell what they thought of this situation, but I knew it had to be something that could damage my reputation if they knew who I was.

I was more than thankful that they did not know of me as a Devil. If this happened a week on, if they knew me as the Devil, it would be a nightmare to deal with.

My pursuer, however, surely knew exactly who I was. The footsteps were quick, and drawing closer, but they seemed to slow every few seconds.

I decided to look back and see who it was.

Like I learned anything from it.

Inazuma Chikaze.

The girl with the ridiculous name.

She was on my heel, carrying a baseball bat in her hand, still wearing that predatory grin. There was a glint of passion in her eyes, like she was in her element. I could tell that the only thing slowing her was her own pacing; she wasn’t trying to overtake me.

She was tailing me.

Well, that could mean a few things.

None of them good.

I ran and ran, followed by Inazuma, throughout the neighborhood around the school. I took constant twists and turns to try and throw her off, but she was always hot on my tail, always nearby. I couldn’t escape her, her gaze was locked on me like a hawk. I didn’t have the mobility necessary for certain stunts, but I did attempt to jump over a fence near a home outside the school.

I fell flat on my face.

Thankfully, Inazuma did the same, except she landed right on her baseball bat; that had to hurt.

I tried to get a head start, but she reached out to grab my ankle, barely missing the hold but still able to throw me off balance. That meant she was quicker on the uptake, and once she was on her feet, she took a swing at my head. A heavy swing. I was barely able to dodge, thanks to her making me stumble backward. The air affected by the bat’s force blew my bangs to the side.

Was she trying to kill me?

What did I do to deserve this?

I got up as quickly as I could, dodging another swing towards my back. Inazuma snarled like an animal, her own balance thrown off by her swing, but quickly resumed following close behind me.

We continued our game of cat and mouse, each turn becoming a life or death situation with Inazuma advancing for another swing. Her aggression was uncanny; it felt like I was living a game of Pac-Man, with her as one of the angriest ghosts in history.

I couldn’t see a clean way out of this. I felt she would follow me into the depths of the earth, if she could. I had never felt anything so intense in my entire life.

I don’t need to repeat myself.

You know how I feel about violence by now.

So you can imagine how this must have felt for me.

I decided running towards the bridge would be my best bet for ending this.

I had a plan. It was a stupid one, but a plan is a plan.

The run to the bridge connecting both sides of the town was stressful, but Inazuma seemed to have called a ceasefire. Still, being chased isn’t very fun either.

As I was running towards the riverside, I could feel her gaining on me, her heavy footsteps approaching faster and faster. So far, we had stuck mostly to running on the sidewalks, so it seemed like a good way to try and juke her.

I ran into traffic from an intersection, as an attempt to slow her down.

She followed without skipping a beat.

Cars swerved and honked their horns past us as we ran across the intersection, one passing much too close for comfort. We were running a green light, just barely avoiding becoming another statistic. She didn’t let up, didn’t slow down, dodged every car with ease as she chased me.

I just couldn’t believe it.

Was I cursed?

After playing a game of _Frogger_ , we finally reached the bridge, running alongside the sidewalk. I ran far enough to lead her halfway across, before making a forceful stop. I turned around, and tried to look threatening by putting up my fists.

It probably looked silly.

No, it definitely did.

Inazuma slowed down, her baseball bat at the ready.

“Khahaha! So you’ve finally come to your senses. Ready to come back and discuss things?” She laughed, but her smile seemed faint.

“No, I don’t think I am. I’d rather not talk to someone who’s trying to kill me.”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I may have gotten a little annoyed, but this is only for self defense.”

“You took a swing at me!! Twice!!”

I couldn’t help it, I could feel my heart thumping like machine gun fire. It was hard to keep calm.

She responded with a put-upon sigh, momentarily closing her eyes.

“I know, I know, it was a mistake. I’ll admit I get a little bit aggressive when I’m at my limit.”

“A little bit? You almost killed me!”

“Like I said, the forehead is resilient to blunt force trauma, so you wouldn’t die. The worst you’d get would be brain damage.”

“Is that acceptable to you? Some brain damage?”

“Wait no, I didn’t mean— Euugh! Why is this so difficult!!”

She began groaning and rubbing her temple with her free hand.

Just from what I’ve seen of her, it seemed as if she hasn’t gotten used to a civil lifestyle yet.

Inazuma began advancing on me, brandishing her bat.

“Inazuma-san, I request that you—”

“You know I can’t let you go, Devil-san. It’s nothing personal.”

I put my back against the railing of the bridge as she got closer.

I tried to steady my voice. “Inazuma-san, I want you to promise me something before you take me away.”

“If it makes you less difficult, I’m all ears, khahaha!”

“Don’t follow me. Wherever I go, do not follow.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good.”

I turned around and, with my best foot forward, climbed over the railing.

And into the river.


	6. Chapter 6

This was a mistake.

You didn’t need me to tell you that, but it felt good to state it plainly.

I made a terrible mistake coming here.

Mistake equals failure.

With one failure comes another.

Like dominoes.

Diving into that river was my latest mistake, since it took a great deal out of me. Normally, diving off a bridge can cause serious damage, to put it mildly, but as a Devil I was lucky enough to get away with only a minor concussion. Still, swimming with a concussion is generally a bad move, especially with wet clothes weighing me down. I could strip out of my current clothing, but I left behind my bag.

I didn’t want to add streaking to the list of my mistakes these past twenty-four hours.

I did my best to stay afloat along the river’s current, keeping my head above water. It was tough, but I was still in decent physical condition, thanks to regular exercise. I stayed in shape by spending most of my days wandering, so I had enough stamina to last quite some time in this situation. Of course, I didn’t want to float along the freezing river longer than necessary, but it would be better for me to get a bit of distance from the town.

I needed to make sure the council of kidnappers, especially Inazuma, was far away from me. 

I drifted along for quite some time, incalculable due to the strain of the journey. It was all I could do to focus on staying afloat, an exhausting endeavor in itself. Maybe I overestimated myself; maybe I would pass out halfway down the river. At least if I died in this river, it would prove the student council wrong.

Take that, I wasn’t murdered by a serial killer!

I died by my own folly!

Haha!

I started laughing to myself, almost getting a mouthful of river water. This scenario really was just too funny, it was like one big punchline. Two high school girls set their sights on a stubborn homeless girl who wants to live her own way. A clash of morals and mindset, each clash accompanied by slapstick sound effects. I could imagine this very scenario being written by some college dropout, trying to force stubborn morals down our stubborn throats with stubborn characters doing stubborn things. We were all so stubborn, so foolish. I accepted my own stubbornness and my penchant for folly, but here I was, facing those who couldn’t see past their own noses.

How could I not laugh?

As the antagonist of this half-baked story, all I could do was laugh. I was anathema to them, a villain to be vanquished by the sheer passion of their mindsets. Act one: set me up as a homeless vagabond with twisted morals, trying to corrupt their fair village. Act two: my devilish influence almost breaks one of our heroes, making them buy into my delusions. And the thrilling climax: our heroes regain their faith, defeating me and possibly killing me in an accident. Or perhaps it could be a sequel hook; maybe I could drift off into space, cursing our heroes and vowing to meet again.

Of course, this was all just my overactive imagination, trying to find something to hold onto as I was swept along by the river. I knew I wasn’t in a summer blockbuster, or a college student’s failed first draft. This was real life, with real people, going through real things. Well, as real as things can get.

That’s why it was so funny.

What’s more hilarious than something more fact than fiction?

As my manic laughter subsided —my stomach hurt, and I didn’t want to overwork my precious body even further— I saw a small pier a short way down the river, seemingly belonging to a modest, almost run-down shrine.

I didn’t care how far Inazuma was at this point, I just didn’t want to be in this freezing river anymore. Safety be damned, I was at the end of my rope.

Once the pier grew nearer, I swam towards it, grabbing onto the mossy wood and pulling myself up. I was beyond soaked, with water deep inside my cast. Something like this has happened before, but not with this amount of water. I was afraid I would need to get a new cast, but that was no longer an option.

Unless I met someone who could make homemade casts, a doctor’s visit was out of the question.

After seeing what lies beneath, what doctor would give me another cast, anyway?

So none of this was good.

At the very least, the shrine was beautiful. Despite its worn down appearance, it was surrounded by bright red flowers and trees close by. Vines wound around the gates, and the stone pathway was covered by so much grass, you could barely see the stone. It helped the shrine feel more inviting, in a way. A lived-in look can give an air of comfort, even for an empty shrine of unknown origin.

There was some bamboo scattered around, with small pieces of colored paper hung on each stalk. It was a little odd, since it wasn’t the day of Tanabata yet, but maybe some small town folk like doing their customs early. You can’t predict this sort of thing.

I tried drying myself off with a walk around the shrine grounds. I probably looked ridiculous, but I didn’t care much. The population of the shrine grounds was seemingly zero, myself excluded. Even if there were people around, I still wouldn’t care. There were much more important things to worry about than looking decent; in fact, you could say decency was off the menu. I was done with it.

I was done with this town.

I planned on leaving as soon as I could. I knew I couldn’t stick around, being followed by damned “heroes.” It was a shame, because like this shrine, the mountain town was very soothing for my nomad soul. Nothing is perfect, as I knew quite well, but I almost wished this was. Of course, some of the design philosophy in the more developed areas got on my nerves, but the atmosphere still won me over.

That calming rural atmosphere was the polar opposite of the two in the student council.

They felt authoritarian, commanding, wishing everything would be orderly.

The little town of ██████, in contrast, was flowing, unrestricted, as if designed to appeal to someone who never stayed in the same place twice.

From the little time I’d spent there, it had an almost Taoist approach to living. That was both a good and a bad thing, but for me: it’s perfect.

Shame it had to go down like this.

I sighed and began scratching my cheek. I was stressed, and I really wished I had some gum. As I did so, I discovered that the shrine was not as empty as I had previously thought.

I saw a young girl.

She didn’t look like a shrine maiden, but she didn’t look like a student playing hooky either. She looked younger than me, but not by much. Hair down to her shoulders, a sunhat and a summer dress with a sash around her waist. You can make assumptions about such a person being in a shrine, but I didn’t want to make them. I was past making assumptions.

I was too exhausted to even care.

She was hanging up one of the colorful paper strips to a bamboo stalk, quite focused on her task. After she was finished, she finally noticed me in her peripheral vision, and turned her head to look at me, scanning me from head to toe.

I wonder what she thought about some girl, soaking wet in river water, appearing at a shrine seemingly out of nowhere.

Would I be considered a ghost? Maybe I could scare her, have some fun before having to leave town. I was past the point of caring about my status, I just wanted out before things got worse.

She began laughing, as expected.

“Hehehehe, what happened to you? Did you just wash up from the river?”

“Unfortunately... yes.”

I couldn’t deny it. My dignity was broken.

“What did you do? Did you fall off a boat?”

“I fell off a bridge.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t do that. That’s not a smart thing to do.”

“You’re very right, I shouldn’t do that kind of thing. I should apologize to the bridge when I see it.”

My god, I sounded like the old man.

That almost made me want to scream with all the power in my lungs, but I opted to remain composed. I just slapped my face, almost like trying to wake up from a bad dream.

If only it _was_ a bad dream.

The girl in the dress barely winced from my act of self-harm.

“Woah, you shouldn’t do that either. Looks like you’re making a lot of bad decisions today, huh?”

“Yes, very perceptive. I wanted to see if I was dreaming, but unfortunately it seems not.”

“You could try pinching yourself next time! It does less damage and not many people care about that if you do it in public.”

“Have you done that kind of thing before?”

The girl smiled. “I have! I mean, who hasn’t had a day where they felt like the world wasn’t real? A delusion a day keeps a doctor in business.”

I began laughing again, but it wasn’t a painful laugh like those in the river.

I sat down on the ground, putting my back against one of the stone lanterns. I rubbed my face with a hand, trying to calm myself down. The girl sat right next to me, sifting through her purse.

“You look like you dealt with a lot today, so I don’t mind sharing.”

She handed me a candy bar.

It was gone within seconds.

I didn’t catch the flavor.

She laughed at my almost feral behavior. “Looks like I was on the money. I would’ve given you half my lunch if you arrived earlier.”

“I wish I had. Thank you. There’s no way for me to repay you, which wounds me.”

“Hey, don’t say that. A good deed doesn’t need anything in return.”

“You’d be surprised. Everything needs a cause and an effect. I borrowed something from you, and I should’ve given something back to you.”

“Well, if you want to give something back, I’m really bored today. Some conversation would be nice.”

She began laughing again.

“Hehehe, I think you need that too. A good conversation can really clear your head,” the young girl added.

She retrieved two water bottles from her purse, presenting one to me.

“Call me Momo. I think meeting someone after a day like yours deserves a first-name basis.”

“I don’t really agree with that.”

“Well, call me Momo anyway.”

“Sure... Thank you, Momo-san.”

“Mmhm!”

She began chugging her water, downing almost the entire bottle in seconds.

I tried to follow, but I wasn’t as thirsty as I thought I was. Maybe I drank some river water.

“So, what’s your name? I don’t think Drowning Girl is a very fun one, but it did come to mind.”

“You can call me that if you wish. It’s more apt than you think.”

“But what’s your _actual_ name?”

“... Eugh, it doesn’t matter anymore. My name is Rouka.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rouka-san. What brings you to our small town? I haven’t seen you around before.”

“Am I still in the ██████ area?”

“You are.”

“Ugh… Just my luck. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be nice to live in for a few weeks.”

“When did you arrive?”

“Yesterday night. I already regret it.”

“Hehehe, sounds like the usual. Did you think you were going to get anything different?”

“Honestly? I did. I severely miscalculated how small towns work.”

“Well, there’s always a chance that you’ll get some good luck, but you know how chance is.”

“Do I?”

“If you don’t, that’s fine. Chance is always bent towards bad circumstances, you know? Every time it says there’s a 50/50 chance at something, really it’s a 60/40, the lower percentage being what you voted for.”

 _The cards are always stacked against you_ , she continued. I completely agreed with Momo; it was almost uncanny. The idea of chance, of possibility, always seems to be against those with the worst luck. I believed in luck as a harmful force, almost like a god who hated those who worshiped too hard.

I nodded and started popping some of my joints, mainly my neck and wrists.

“Well, I didn’t expect chance to be involved in something like traveling, per say,” I replied, one joint popping louder than expected.

“Chance is involved with everything. If you’re falling from a bridge, there’s a chance you might die. There’s modifiers, but the chance is still there! Nothing is a sure bet, everything is up for grabs.”

“You seem very sure of this.”

“There’s only a few things you can be sure about in life. This is one of them.”

“What else is there to be sure about?”

“Besides luck, there’s the goodness in people. If the cards are stacked against you, the other players are not. ”

“There is an argument to be made that humans do nothing but fight each other.”

“It’s a trend, but it’s not something within humanity’s core. Think about it, what is the most basic human instinct?”

“Survival.”

“Survival, right! We live to live, survive to survive. Fighting each other goes against this basic instinct, but we’re such a communal species that we have to believe in delusions before we believe in killing someone else.”

“I disagree with you on this. Learning not to harm is just that, learning. It’s something that isn’t given to us by our DNA. If you gave a baby a gun, he would shoot and not realize the horrific act he committed.”

“A gun is made to kill easier than anything else ever could, Rouka-san. By giving a baby a gun, we give the baby an ability that isn’t built into our instincts. Children have to learn right and wrong, but no children feels the need to murder without outside influence.”

“So you’re saying we’re limited to our bodies, and everything else is outside influence?”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“You could argue that the desire to kill is not instinctual, but that also ignores how we are surrounded by outside influences in our lives that affect us. That affect you.”

“That affect me?”

“We're very fallible people, Momo-san. In some way, you were shaped by something or someone in your life. Multiple times, even. I have as well. It’s a constant. We continue to take and give, to impact and to be impacted.”

“Like everyone’s borrowing and giving back.”

“You’re very right. You can say humans have an innate sense of goodness, but the world is a cruel monster. It can crush that primal innocence through our environment, through the traumatic events that occur in our lives. To be human is to be wounded.”

“I don’t think every single human in this world is wounded.”

“But a great majority are, and no group is defined by the minority. You said the cards are stacked against us, right? I thought you understood this”

“I do, but I don’t think it defines us as humans. Outside forces are outside of us.”

“I think our environment defines our existence, actually. We live due to the world around us, and the world around us lives by our means.”

“The earth lived long before we came from the dirt.”

“Are you sure about that? I’m of the belief that acknowledgment equals making something real. Because we acknowledge the world around us, it exists. The world around us acknowledges us by giving us dirt under our feet, air in our lungs. Letting us know that since it is real, we’re real.”

“I think you’re part of a very, very small minority to believe this.”

“Maybe so, maybe so. Believing in it just makes it more real, though.”

Momo started laughing once more, louder this time, holding her stomach.

“Oh my god, you’re so funny!”

“That’s the second time I heard that today.”

“Did the person who told you that before cause you to fall into the river?”

“You’re right, as usual. Have you heard of... forgive me if it seems like I’m making up a name on the spot, Inazuma Chikaze?”

“Oh, yeah I think I recognize that name. She’s the assistant to Tamatsu Uchuu, right?”

Tamatsu... Uchuu?

Oh god, they did have something in common.

Ridiculous names.

I sighed after I drank some more water. “You’re right, although I didn’t remember her saying she was an assistant. She was the vice president to the student council, I believe.”

“That would mean Tamatsu-san became president, huh? It makes sense. I’m surprised she didn’t try gunning for the principal’s seat.”

“Tamatsu-san seemed to be the more mild-mannered one of the duo, so I’m curious. How did you hear about those two?”

“You can’t go a few days without hearing about Tamatsu Uchuu, she’s our local legend. ██████’s very own star. Top grades in every subject, assisted the mayor with ordinances and social issues, organizing food drives, she’s done it all. No one can touch the bar she set.”

“I have a hard time believing such a person exists, if she’s done everything you’ve mentioned.”

“I think all the locals feel the same way, but she’s here to stay. You acknowledged her existence when you first met her, right?”

“I did, but she didn’t act what you would predict someone of her status would. She was organized, but not unusually so. She was...”

“Too normal?”

“Yes, too normal.”

“That’s what they call ‘humble,’ Rouka-san. That makes her the real deal.”

“I can’t really argue, but it feels like I dealt with someone entirely different than what you’ve heard.”

“That’s how it often goes, doesn’t it? You might have dealt with one side of her, but that doesn’t make the other side invalid.”

“You may be right, but those two sides had a disconnect.”

“What kind of disconnect?”

“I can’t really explain it too well. The best I can say is that the Tamatsu... Uchuu, who I met was a little too removed from the narrative you’ve given to me. I felt like I met a police officer, not a star pupil who saves drowning puppies.”

“Are you suggesting an officer of the law can’t be a star?”

“I have quite a few stories to back that up, but I think it’s time I head back.”

I drank the rest of the water and handed it back to Momo-san, getting to my feet.

“Thank you for your generosity, Momo-san. I won’t forget your help.”

“Always glad to help! Wait, hold on.”

She started rifling through her bag again, this time producing a small cellphone.

“I’m going to give you my number, feel free to call me whenever you need help.”

“I don’t know what you would be able to help with once I’m out of this town.”

“Help can mean more than just giving you food or a backrub, hehehe. Even if you’re kilometers away, give me a call whenever you see fit.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Momo-san. Thank you very much.”

After Momo-san gave me her phone number, I began walking away from the shrine. I could feel her watching me as I exited the front gate, following the path in the woods.

... Wait.

There were multiple paths.

I didn’t know where I was going.

So I walked back into the shrine, scratching my cheek. I could hear Momo-san laughing. I didn’t want to care, but this was too much. I just sighed and tried to speak firmly.

“Momo-san, if you aren’t busy here—”

“Why yes, I _will_ accompany you out of the forest. It would be my honor, Rouka-san.”

She got up and set off into the forest at a brisk pace. I did my best to keep up, even with my limp from the cast.

This was a risk.

Momo seemed like a nice person, a sweet girl who helped people from the bottom of her heart. She didn’t ask too many questions, she talked to me with interest, she was what a father would be proud of.

But that was the thing: she asked no questions.

Well, none of the important ones.

A situation like this wasn’t something most people would just roll with. A girl who fell into the river, being chased by two of the most noteworthy members in town.

You can’t ignore that.

That made Momo-san an enigma.

That made interacting with her a risk.

Yet it was a risk I had no choice but to take.


	7. Chapter 7

After Momo-san led me out of the forest, we made some small talk and said our goodbyes, her heading back into the forest and me heading toward the train station nearby. The station was as far away from the town as I could hope for.

Arriving at the station, I made sure to check the soonest time a train would arrive. Although I didn’t have the money, I should be able to persuade a traveler to help. Of course, doing so isn’t very dignified, but as previously stated, I’m at the end of my rope.

I’ll do anything to get out of this town as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, soon wasn’t possible.

The soonest time for a train to arrive at this station was early tomorrow morning.

I looked at the station’s clock. A little after 5 P.M., with some room to spare.

Great.

Just great.

I sighed yet again as I left the station, sitting on a bench by the door, still damp from head to toe. I was exhausted, but not enough to go to bed this early, not to mention I’d learned my lesson about sleeping outdoors. If I wanted to kill some time, it had to be away from town, but not out in the open.

I had little to no options.

Well, there were a few.

One would be to find a place to stay within one of the homes near the outskirts. Ask them to house a girl who missed her train, and was disconnected from her family. That was a huge gamble, of course. For one, I looked like a delinquent, so the odds of a family warmly accepting me into their home were low. Secondly: I didn’t want to interact with more people than necessary.

I was done with people for the time being.

I was going to take a vacation after this, relax somewhere far away from here. The beach, maybe. Tokyo was an option too, but that would require further travel. Although I wanted to get away from people, it was interacting with people I didn’t want to get into. In crowded cities, you blend into the environment, becoming part of the human wave of pedestrians; a seamless transition into a wall of flesh, to put it in more poetic terms. No one wants to stop for a chat in the always-moving crowd.

That sounded nice. However, it’s tough to spread rumors about my services in larger locations. Small towns are perfect breeding grounds for rumors and gossip, especially the volatile kind; in cities, so many things happen that it’s easy to be drowned out in the flow of information. Of course, like most things, it’s possible to swim through.

But I was only planning ahead. I needed to think about the present.

I got up from the bench, heading in the direction of the forest once more. I decided that the best course of action would be to camp out in the woods near the shrine. It was close enough to the river for an escape, and it was far enough away from town. 

It was still a gamble.

Momo-san could find me out there, possibly with an adult or two.

A high stakes gamble.

But it was a gamble worth taking.

During my walk into the woods, I began thinking about everything that had happened, the people I’d met in that nameless town.

Inazuma Chikaze.

Tamatsu Uchuu.

Momo.

I couldn’t wait to get away from all of them.

It was easy to explain my grievances with Inazuma. She was my polar opposite: a violent individual with nothing but passion, and hateful passion at that. Someone prone to violence, irrational violence over differing beliefs, was someone I never want to see again. I despised that kind of person.

Tamatsu was different from Inazuma, but not overly so. Famous for being a bleeding heart, all I got was a heart dried up. She thought I was interesting, but I didn’t feel the same way about her. I’ve seen her type many times before, so she was too normal for me.

I was still curious if I received a side of her that no one else got, as Momo suggested. Maybe she really was a shining star to everyone else.

All I saw was dust.

Which had more truth to it?

That brings me to Momo, the enigma. Too kind, too helpful, too soothing. Although she helped me more than I expected, I was skeptical of her. Why? Well, that was obvious.

No one can be that kind, that helpful, that soothing. No one can be that welcoming with no knowledge of someone else. We live in an age of suspicion and fear of strangers, and yet she was here acting like she could smooth-talk a murderer. Not that I was one, of course.

There had to be a catch.

When I spoke with a colleague of mine regarding my travels, they told me to keep my eyes open to anything odd. Anything that seemed abnormal, anything that felt off.

Well, she felt off.

She wasn’t natural.

She, potentially, was...

...

But I shouldn’t worry about that now. Soon I would be away from here. Away from dreamers, away from stars, away from mysteries. I’ll be far gone, in a different prefecture, where I can finally relax and live according to my own philosophy, my own beliefs.

I settled down beneath a large tree, next to a wide clearing with another tree that had fallen. That allowed for a window to look into the sky, which was perfect for me. I took off my jacket and placed it underneath me. Even if it was still soaking wet, it was something.

I started to relax, closing my eyes. I wanted to think more about the life I’d been given, but I overestimated myself again.

I fell right to sleep.

Like a baby.

I couldn’t tell you what my dreams were like. I don’t like remembering them, and nothing good ever came from remembering them in the first place. Dreams are reflections from the inside of your mind, and I didn’t want to see what was in there. You can be happy with your life if you don’t know your inner demons, if you don’t know anything about yourself besides what’s necessary. 

So I won’t tell you anything interesting about my time asleep. What was interesting was waking up in the middle of the night, or perhaps the very early morning, and in a daze... Looking at the sky.

In that starry sky filled with all of the dreams of youth, I saw...

A shooting star.

An uncanny coincidence, after my conversation with Momo.

I guess that means I should wish for something.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything to wish for. Wishes are very idealistic in and of themselves, and I didn’t like the concept of an ideal; by definition, wishful thinking. Although I have my likes and dislikes, goals and aspirations, none of them were worth wishing for.

Would I wish for a smooth exit? No, that was almost a guarantee, if I was able to survive the night without incident.

Would I wish for Tamatsu and Inazuma to get their comeuppance? No, I wouldn’t. That was an inevitability. You can’t double down on a house bet. 

Would I wish... to see Her again?

...

Even if wishes do come true, I don’t deserve it. Failures can’t be rectified; they exist and will continue to exist. I could make as many wishes as I wanted to fix my mistakes, but that wouldn’t stop mistakes from happening in the first place. I doubted any god merciful enough to fulfill wishes would allow anyone, especially someone like me, to go back in time and fix their mistakes.

To undo their failures.

So no, I wouldn’t wish on that.

I won’t wish on anything.

I’ll let the shooting star pass by, undisturbed by any deluded Devil living in a perpetual state of failure.

I’ll let the star go.

I’ll let the devil sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with no issues. Whatever god in the skies above I had to thank, I thanked them as much as my heart could muster.

It was definitely early morning now, as early as I could hope. The sun was on the horizon past the treeline, the sky a soothing red, the cicadas starting their daily ritual. That warm, familiar buzz rang through the air, letting me know the day had just started and it was time for me to head out.

Finally.

July 6th.

Day three of this current failure.

Let’s go.

After about thirty minutes spent in my usual morning stupor, I got up from underneath the tree, collecting my coat and donning it once more. There were a few bits of leaves stuck to it, but I didn’t mind too much. I took a deep breath and began walking back to the path connecting the shrine to the town’s main road. Each step in the forest was like taking a shot of espresso, calming yet invigorating. If my duties as a Devil weren’t tied to the modern day, I’d live far in the woods, away from the nonsense of the everyday.

It was a simple walk up from the path, nothing noteworthy.

Except.

Near the entrance to that forest pathway, I saw her.

Tamatsu Uchuu.

A normal girl with an abnormal name.

She was wearing a large blue coat over her school uniform. She didn’t seem to notice me walking up the path at first, but after I stopped... Her eyes narrowed in my direction.

I was like a deer in headlights.

So I did what a deer wouldn’t do:

I ran.

I ran down the path into the forest, away from the entrance. I didn’t know where I was running to, all I knew was that I needed to get away as soon as I could. 

It was almost unfair; the cards really were stacked against me. I couldn’t catch a break in this town, I couldn’t escape the long arms of supposed authority that grasped out to me. Tamatsu was right, I was a fool. Her idealism was real, it was powerful and it was sickening. I was drowning in it, drowning in the passion of the so-called heroes.

Actually, I shouldn’t assume that they were heroes.

They were just doing a good deed.

Rescuing a homeless girl from certain death.

I ran and ran. I didn’t know how closely Tamatsu followed, but I heard her footsteps along with mine. I wasn’t getting away that easily, we both knew that for certain.

So what was there for me to do?

I couldn’t think straight, so I followed the path down, down into the shrine. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, barreling toward the pier. This would be it, I would swim away. I would escape by my own volition and swim down the river as fast as I could. Tamatsu couldn’t stop me, she couldn’t ruin both her coat and her uniform. This was my way out, this was my—

I felt a tug on my ankle.

She jumped and grabbed it.

And thus fell a Devil.

Right on her face.

I didn’t remember much after that. I didn’t pass out, but it was mostly a haze of events that I had barely a recollection of. I remember being able to get up, but falling over again. I remembered seeing Tamatsu almost looked shocked past her deadpan default expression, but that could’ve been my eyes playing tricks on me.

What I remembered next was sitting against the very same lantern I sat next to yesterday, head hurting and Tamatsu sitting across from me, legs crossed.

In this position, her skirt was...

I tried my best to avoid looking at it as I refocused.

She was staring at me again, staring into my eyes like some mystery was in there. I didn’t know if there was, but I let her look as I examined my options.

I wasn’t tied to anything this time; the only thing preventing me from a smooth escape was my second concussion in as many days. Beyond that, she was clearly able to outpace me in long-distance running, so I needed to get a firm grasp on what to do next.

...

There was nothing.

I tried looking at all of my options, some of them I never wanted to consider, and it seemed I really was unlucky. This was the endgame, nothing else to be done besides going against my own morals.

Great.

Just great.

I groaned and put my head in both my hands.

It was too much. I was at the end of my rope.

All I could do was put the cards on the table and say I’ve hit empty.

“Tamatsu-san...”

“Tilt your head up once more, please.”

I did as I was told, trying to keep my dignity intact as she continued to stare into my eyes, scratching her chin thoughtfully.

This went on for several minutes. I wondered what the point of it was. Maybe she was testing my strength of will by counting how many times I blinked. Maybe she was committing my eyes to memory, so that when she sent me off to live with people I don’t know, she could reflect on the good deeds she’d done.

I hope she drowns in them.

She finally nodded her head, reaching into her coat pocket. She withdrew a pack of gum, strawberry, and tossed it to me.

I caught it with both hands.

I’m not an addict, but the sense of chewing gum has no equivalent as a way of relieving stress. I’m a fan of fruit flavors, but most gum is fantastic at waking up my taste buds and getting my mind working.

Five sticks of gum were my coffee for today.

She spoke to me in the same tone she had yesterday: quiet, but firm.

“Apologies for taking so long. I have also brought you breakfast, but I imagined you would be happier with your supply.”

“So you looked in my bag, then?”

“We had to vet any potential interviewee, for the sake of accuracy and ease of publication. We couldn’t have a drug smuggler be our featured guest.”

“Do I look like a drug smuggler to you?”

“That would be a safe assumption, yes.”

“You wound me. You really do.”

I groaned once more and scratched my neck. Hopefully being in the river yesterday didn’t give me any hitchhikers that could cause some damage to my body.

“So, where are we going? Are you taking me straight to the police, or are you bringing me to the principal to show me off?”

“None of the above. You aren’t going anywhere.”

Huh?

“What?”

“Ever since you jumped into the river, Inazuma and the rest of the student council thought you died. It was a great tragedy, and we potentially lost our seats as a result. No, we definitely lost them, and there is a high chance I’ll be suspended when I arrive at school.”

“It’s a little ridiculous to think someone died from a fall like that. It was barely, what, twenty meters?”

“Your disability is what clinched it for us.” 

So the illusion was still ongoing, huh? Although none of the others saw me run away like the cast was just for show, I thought Inazuma had a hunch.

Maybe I was overestimating her.

Tamatsu cleared her throat and presented my breakfast for the day. A breakfast bar and a bottle of orange juice.

I took both with gusto.

She laughed softly, although I didn’t know why.

“Once again, I apologize for taking so long.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m surprised you’re apologizing in the first place, since it was my fault for running away.”

“Very much so, but it’s the principle of the thing. I promised that I would get you lunch, and I was unable to deliver. The reasons why do not matter.”

I chugged my orange juice, not even bothering to remove the gum from my mouth.

The taste wasn’t good, but I didn’t care.

Vitamin C doesn’t care either.

After draining the bottle, I decided to steer the conversation in a direction I could follow.

“Why are you still following me if you’re out of a job?”

“A personal project of mine.”

“Personal project?”

“No, project isn’t the proper word. This is something I need to have taken care of, and no one else can do.”

“I don’t see me being of any help.”

“On the contrary, Devil-san. All I know of you is of someone who likes to collect misery, and I have misery that needs collecting.”

I could only tilt my head, confused.

“If you give me my phone back, you can call me and it can be sorted out.”

“I would like a more direct approach. I could give you a call, but the issue won’t get resolved.”

“You sure about that?”

“It’s the truth. This kind of misery requires action.”

“Well, what misery do you have for me to deal with, then?”

“That can come later. We have yet to address the true elephant in the room.”

She narrowed her eyes, focusing on me.

“You’re connecting to the star, aren’t you?”

...

I was dumbstruck.

Out of all the questions she could’ve asked.

“... The star, huh?”

“The shooting star last night. I know you’ve seen it. It was the first our fair village has seen in one hundred years.”

“Well yeah, I did see it last night.”

“Then you know where this is going.”

“I don’t, actually.”

“This isn’t a coincidence, Devil-san. You may not know it yourself, but I know this for certain. You coming here provoked this star to appear in our sky.”

“Well... You can believe what you want to believe.”

“It’s odd to believe in facts, as they are immovable.”

“Facts need something concrete to stand on. You can’t just say I’m connected to a star without any evidence to back it up.”

“That is what you’re assisting me with, Devil-san. You’re going to help me find this star and prove this theory for good.”

“...”

I didn’t know what to say. Whatever I expected today, it wasn’t this.

This was beyond me.

“What's so special about this star to begin with?”

“Once again, I will save that for later.”

“You’re not giving me a lot to work with here, Tamatsu-san.”

“Am I supposed to?”

“You are. Even if I don’t have a choice in helping you, I still need motivation. Don’t want me to be lazy about it, right?”

“You can be as lazy as you like. You being here is enough for me.”

“Very funny. Still, I don’t have a lot of reason to help you. For one...”

I tapped the right side of my head, right on the temple.

“I have a migraine. A large one. One that is exclusively your fault.”

“That is true, yes. I won’t deny it. Although I wish you didn’t land on your face, it’s something we have to deal with.”

“Then let’s deal with it.”

“I apologize. There, we have dealt with it.”

“That isn’t... Ugh.”

There was no use in arguing about it. Although she grabbed my leg and caused this pain, she wasn’t trying to hurt me. It was a mistake.

An apology is all that could be offered in exchange for the pain.

“Anything else we should address before we head off, Devil-san?”

“Plenty. How did you find me here in the first place?”

“Since I knew you were still alive from the star, it was easy to guess where you would end up. I thought you would’ve taken shelter within the shrine itself, but I was wrong. The next obvious guess would be within the trees nearby.”

“Obvious guess?”

“Although I have only met you once, you seemed like someone who wouldn’t travel far after stressful events.”

“You could’ve been wrong. I might have been kilometers away.”

“And yet here you are.”

“Yeah, here I am. You know, you’re doing a good job of predicting me, it’s a little uncomfortable.”

“I spent all of last night reflecting on every word you have spoken to me, so this is not a prediction. These are all facts.”

Connecting me to a star, over-analyzing my every word, this was a situation that felt more and more unnerving as time went on.

And here I thought she was normal.

Add that to the list of mistakes during this disaster.

I groaned for the third time that day and rubbed my eyes, my breakfast bar finished and orange juice emptied. She collected the trash.

“I can apologize once more for giving you further stress, but I know you do not want further apology.”

“I don’t, since you aren’t sorry.”

“Very right, Devil-san. As I know you, you know me. Equivalent understanding.”

“Let’s just get this over with, then. So what, where did the star head off to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Urk... You don’t.”

“I need to do research, collect information regarding the location of where it landed.”

“Didn’t you watch it last night?”

“Not the whole duration. I passed out before I could see it land.”

The former president sat up straight, brushing off her skirt.

“I think it’s time for us to head out.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“To my apartment. I have your bag, crutch, and clean clothes there. You may also use my shower, if your escapade in the river did not suffice.”

I stood unsteadily, dealing with headrush but overall stable enough to walk. I spit my gum into the wrapper, stowing it in my pocket before immediately retrieving five more sticks.

I needed them.

With the gum situation settled, she led me out of the shrine toward town. It looked to be about 7 A.M., give or take. Although it was a bright, sunny morning filled with the sounds of cicadas and the warmness of a summer day, it wasn’t very warm for me.

It felt too cold.

But temperature was the least of my worries.

What I had to worry about was this delusional ex-council president, leading me to her apartment where anything could happen.

During our walk, she looked back to me.

“How have you enjoyed our village these last few days, Devil-san?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to say whatever you believe.”

“Then I’ll say that this town is nice, besides you and Inazuma.”

“Is it, now?”

“Yeah, it is. I’ve traveled quite a bit, but this village is built differently than most.”

“Built differently? So the architecture is what caught your eye?”

“The only time I had to really relax in this town was my first night here, where that was all I could see. I just thought it was nice.”

“How so?”

“Besides some of the design trends in the main street, at least what I think is the main street, it’s very loosely connected. Not a lot of intersections, a lot of roads that curve. Surprising.”

“Then you can tell how most of my fair village is... Left behind, then.”

“That’s a good way to put it. Left behind. Well, it looks like they’re trying to pick up the pace now.”

“You can see that just by spending a night here?”

“You have to. For my services, understanding the environment surrounding your clients is more important than the rumors themselves. The more you know who to spread it to, based on location, the better the odds for collecting misery.”

“You sound very experienced in your duties.”

“Hahaha, guess I am.”

We continued our walk through the town, exchanging more idle chatter on the way. It took us close to an hour and a half to arrive at her apartment complex.

The complex was in a very decent neighborhood, with various stores scattered around from what I remember from my first night’s wander. The complex itself was also very decent, despite the fact it didn’t have an elevator for me to use. This made walking up the stairs with my cast much more of an annoyance than it needed to be.

We arrived at the third floor, approaching her home. Apartment #308.

As she put the key into the lock, all I could do was wonder.

“I thought high school students stayed with their family.”

“That’s a common misconception. My parental figures gave me the option to have my own place to stay, and I chose it.”

“How much do you pay for this place?”

Tamatsu opened the door and stared fixedly at me.

“I don’t. My grades do.”

Finally she led me into her home, which... Was not what I expected.

Not at all.

In that small studio apartment, every single wall was covered floor to ceiling with posters, papers, newspaper clippings and more, all revolving around a single theme.

Aliens.

The leftmost wall was plastered with posters from various alien movies, most of them Western. _ET_ , _The Mysterians_ , _Close Encounters of the Third Kind_ , _Kronos_ , _It Came from Outer Space_ ; the farther along I went the more obscure the title became, and the more likely it was in difficult English. English isn’t exactly my specialty, which only added to the mystique of it all. It was like a glossary of every single alien movie known to man.

The other walls hadn’t been spared, almost completely obscured by yet more posters and what looked to be scattered photographs of various sizes. I didn’t look at them too closely, but I didn’t have to. 

I already knew what they would feature.

There was no room for doubt.

“Please make yourself comfortable, Devil-san. Let me get you a drink of water.”

Tamatsu went into the kitchen area, pulling open the fridge. In my stupor, I was still able to sit down at her small dining table. I felt dazed, not from my concussion but from...

All of this.

She soon returned with the water, before sitting down right beside me. The glasses had no images of UFOs, funnily enough.

I decided to address this. I couldn’t wait a second longer.

“So... Is this why you’re looking for the star?”

“Hmm?”

“You know.”

I gestured to the wall beside us, which had a prominent mock photograph of a UFO abducting a cow.

“All of this.”

“That’s a very astute observation, Devil-san.”

“So you’re saying I’m right?”

“Half-right. The concept of something being half-right is flawed, but there are always specific cases that fit this distinction. This being one of them.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You see, I do believe the star is connected to you, but I do not believe you to be an alien.”

“I wasn’t asking that.”

“You weren’t, but I needed to address it. Removing any misconceptions so the facts are clear and focused.”

The dead-serious girl stood from her seat once again, walking towards the window.

“You see, Devil-san, to address your question with brutal honesty... I know for certain that the star is associated with extraterrestrial beings. Due to the nature of this valley, we never have shooting stars unless it’s a confirmed report of an _Unidentified Flying Object_.”

“What’s that in Japanese?”

“A UFO, Devil-san.”

“Ah, figures.”

What in the world was she getting at?

“The truth of the matter is that you were affected by the star and sent her as a sign and as a guide. Perhaps a key. I will admit, this is the only time I do not have all the facts, but it does not matter much.”

What is going on?

Why is this happening?

I tried to speak.

“I don’t even know where this star is.”

“You don’t have to. All I need is you by my side.”

“Okay, okay, now I need to ask something very important before I continue to humor this nonsense.”

I couldn’t handle much more of this.

“How do you know all of this?”

Tamatsu turned to look at me and smiled. It was a kind smile, a warm one. The smile of a mother looking at a child who just asked where babies came from. A smile that knew.

She spoke, without hesitation, without worry, without a single shred of doubt in her mind.

“I’m an alien, Devil-san. That is how I know.”


	9. Chapter 9

Let’s talk about aliens.

Extraterrestrials.

The concept of life among the stars.

I don’t know when the idea that we aren’t alone got into humanity’s collective head, but it’s stuck in there now. So many TV shows, movies, anime, written works, all about the idea that we aren’t the sole advanced life forms in existence. Aliens represent our fear of not being unique, of something being better than us on this little blue rock. We’re the apex predator, rulers of our dear planet Earth, so why shouldn’t we be afraid of something stronger than us?

I thought it was a bit silly.

I never really cared for aliens, although I knew kids that did, growing up. It’s a nice thing to fixate on when you’re a child, since it doesn’t offer a lot of substance that can impact your relationships with others. Believing in aliens was just a quirk, a little piece of trivia to tell your friends on the playground. Causal laughter, light insults thrown, bonds growing tighter. The belief in extraterrestrial life was just something you could pick and choose to make your own, like believing in the gods or liking a specific shade of blue.

Quirks like these don’t become a huge part of your life unless by force.

That’s what captivated me on the morning of July 6th.

In that cluttered, lonesome apartment.

Although I was confused, stunned even, there was nothing quite like meeting Tamatsu Uchuu for the very first time. Meeting the real Tamatsu Uchuu, in all her glory.

The alien.

The extraterrestrial.

Proof that there was life among the stars.

As she stated.

It was like striking gold ore in a mine shaft: unassuming, unrefined, yet holding within its rough exterior a piece of pure euphoria.

It wasn’t enough for me to seek out, but I couldn’t look away.

Closet door open, skeletons exposed.

After the proverbial curtains were drawn, I sat in a daze for a good five or six minutes straight. Maybe even ten. Tamatsu just stood there as I tried to find the words to say about this proclamation, but I was at a loss.

I had never experienced anything like this before. Nothing in my life prepared me for meeting someone like this.

After a certain point, I was able to speak clearly and without stuttering.

“... You’re an alien.”

“Yes. Also known as an extraterrestrial, if you prefer.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Sure sure. Great. Understandable. Mmhm. I got it. Yes.”

“You don’t believe me, then.”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“Now it is your turn to wound me, Devil. If I was not certain in myself, I would almost be shaken. ”

“You’ve told me a lot of really interesting things today, Tamatsu-san, but this takes the cake. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to humor you anymore.”

“None of this is funny, so you cannot humor the topic of discussion today. You may reject what I have stated if you like, for as long as you assist me, I will prove these facts to be concrete. Of course, I would not mind you following along.”

“I can’t follow you if I don’t know where this is coming from.”

There’s a starting point for everything, including this.

Things like this just didn’t happen out of the blue.

“Please don’t make such assumptions about me. These kinds of assumptions are never accurate, since they are based on limited perception.”

“But am I wrong?”

“You’re not wrong, there is a starting point for everything. You only used this as a vehicle to explore the disbelief you have in my existence.”

“I won’t deny that, but the point stands, doesn’t it?”

“It does. I’ll interpret your line of dialogue as a request to know my backstory.”

She cleared her throat, one hand on her elbow as she scratched the side of her cheek.

“I first learned of my existence when this body was eight years old, but I misunderstood what it meant. Everyone did. They thought I was some broken human, an astute assumption but one that is drenched in a misunderstanding of the situation at hand. I was able to realize who I was fully three years ago.”

“That you were—”

“An alien, yes. I’ve never felt a human emotion in my time spent in this body, which is a red flag in itself. You humans call this numbness ‘sociopathic behavior,’ and for a number of years I believed that line of thought, but ultimately realized I was not a part of it. Too many loose ends and not enough answers. I despise unclear answers.”

“You’ve never felt a real emotion?”

“I can say for certain that I have not. What you call human behavior is lost on me. I only act according to how I believe a human should act, through my years tied to this existence. Unfortunately, the human concept of following the leader does not explain my methods. To speak in broad terms, I only act in ways that are deemed acceptable.”

“You have quite the reputation as someone who goes above and beyond normal, not close to usual human behavior.”

“Human normalcy isn’t acceptable. The abnormal behavior you know is the only existence I can manage without giving away my true identity. You could say my good deeds were the perfect disguise, in that sense.”

“Is that why you’ve helped all those people? I’ve heard many things about you, and it’s depressing to hear that your benevolence was only a disguise.”

“It is unfortunate, but it is the truth. I will not suggest that you humans are lower than I as beings in this universe, but I will admit I have used your emotions for my own gain. For that, I must apologize.”

“You can save that for those you affected instead.”

“Unfortunately, I will not see them once we begin our journey.”

“Let me guess... The star is the way for you to get home.”

“Once again, I am captivated by your deductive abilities. I would like to hear how you reached that conclusion.”

“Lucky guess.”

I drank as much water as I could from the glass she provided me. The entire glass emptied.

I continued.

“Do you even know what you are?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Fully? One hundred percent? Nothing you don’t understand?”

“That, I cannot say. Although I know the concept of my existence as concrete, everything that goes with it is a part of my own investigation. I have done my research, and I have a few hypotheses. Do you care if I explained them?”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice.”

“Good. Have you seen _The Thing_ by film director _John Carpenter_?”

“Can’t say I have.”

I didn’t really like movies, much less Western ones.

“That’s fine, Devil-san, since it’s a movie that doesn’t suit you. I imagine you would enjoy the works of _Jim Jarmusch_ , since they often have a flowing nature and represent the values you hold dear.”

“Mhmm, sure.”

I didn’t know who that was.

“Nevertheless, _The Thing_ is a horror movie that first got me thinking about what I could be outside of this body. Its featured alien was not tied to one identity, and had no solid and describable form. I found that comforting. If I had a choice, I would like to be this one.”

“A horror movie monster?”

“Only a monster in your eyes. After that, the movie _Mars Attacks_ piqued my interest in what I might look like without the freedom to choose. The movie was a throwback to the old science fiction films of the 1950’s, which I had a fondness for but understood were made during a time of turmoil. If I was going to look like one of those aliens, I would be very sad.”

“Why is that?”

“Because the designs are connected to that turmoil. So much research pointing to the idea of aliens being enemies and looking ugly to the eyes of humans. Since I have human eyes, it makes me sad. I would like to be something beautiful to you humans, but ultimately I know that my identity is the opposite of beautiful.”

Tamatsu sat down right next to me once more, sighing lightly.

“I thought you didn’t have human emotions.”

“I don’t, but I’m taking the context of my observations and painting it in ways you can understand. Sadness is the most accurate way I can explain it.”

Our dialogue continued for quite some time. Since there was a clock in her room, I was able to see how long this conversation lasted.

Four hours.

We discussed many things, mainly about her. Her hypotheses for who she was, her observations about the movies she watched for research, her discoveries involving her identity. She was firm about every single point in her memory, unbroken, unfazed. Each point of discussion was presented as if she was speaking of the ground beneath her feet.

It went on.

And on.

Until it didn’t.

Tamatsu yawned, opening a can of soda she had taken from the fridge. She’d given me tea and some snack cakes from her own supply, which I did not hesitate to enjoy.

“I appreciate you listening to me ramble, Devil-san. Although I know your own beliefs are not aligned with mine, I can still appreciate you assisting me to return home.”

“I didn’t say I was helping you.”

“You don’t have to say that sort of thing outright. Ever since I met you, I have known you. Who you are. You don’t like stating things outright.”

“You really know me?”

“Yes, I know you. I reflected on the first day we have met and every word you have spoken, and I made sure to acknowledge and return every single piece of information you have given to me. In fact, speaking with you now helps cement these facts about you.”

“This sounds like you’re making assumptions about my character and then stating they’re facts. You can’t know who someone is within that amount of time.”

“You can. You misunderstand how you humans work, but I don’t blame you for doing so. When you first meet a human, you meet the idea of this human, the concept of it. Either shy, firm, aggressive, or whatever they see fit; this sample of their own humanity can be examined and then researched. To explain, the first five minutes count more than the rest of the time you get to know them.”

“The first five minutes, huh?”

“The very first five minutes. That isn’t to say it’s limited to just five minutes. It could be ten, twenty, an hour, any amount of time. It is only limited by the fact it is the very first time you hear them speak, and understand that they too are coherent.”

“I think I get it. The more you understand that they’re as cognitive as you are, the more you can learn about who they are deep down.”

“Half right, as usual. It is dependent on mutual observations, not just your own. From the first time I heard you speak and acknowledge me as an entity, existing alongside you, that is when I was able to see you as who you are.”

“I would love to hear what you have to say about who I am.”

“I have already spoken my piece about you. You’re an interesting fool.”

“Is that all? I’m more than that, right? I’m a living, breathing, human being. A fool just doesn’t cut it.”

“You’re very right. I’ll humor you, for now.”

She leaned it closer to me from across the table, eyes boring into me. It was almost scary.

Almost.

“You’re someone who undersells herself, but at the same time oversells. You view your own observations as lacking, but then force said observations on others instead of keeping them inside. You’re a firm believer in subjectivity, right?”

“You can say that.”

“Yet you state your own perspective as fact. Speaking plainly, you’re a hypocrite. Through and through.”

“Hahaha, maybe so. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a hypocrite.”

“There is. It’s the rejection of your own self, a rejection of morals. It’s despicable.”

“Despicable, yes. But not the be-all and end-all. My morals don’t define me. I’m a hypocrite in my observations, but not my duties, my beliefs, what have you. I am more than the sum of my parts.”

“Yet one bad apple spoils the bunch.”

“If you have such a strong aversion to my hypocrisy, then why do you find me so interesting?”

“Because it is interesting. Even if you’re despicable, I find value in your observations. It’s better to learn where you have gone wrong, than to learn from what is right. It helps me reinforce my own beliefs.”

“So you’re using me to feel better about yourself?”

“Not to feel better about myself, but to confirm my beliefs in humans. I could apologize, but you and I both know that means nothing at this point.”

“Very right. It doesn’t mean much of anything. You don’t know the concept of shame.”

“And I never will.”

She drank her soda in full and threw it in the trash. Clearing her throat, she propped her chin up her hand, elbow on the table.

“So, what next, then?” I asked her.

“Research. Internet cafe, looking at the reports and the news surrounding the star. Once we have enough information, we relax here until late at night. Wherever it was reported to crash, we will head there.”

“What if it’s kilometers away?”

“Then we will travel kilometers. I know it’s something you do not wish to do, Devil-san, but the reward is already in place. The council believes you to have died, and due to this you now have ample room to do your supposed duties.”

“I don’t want anything to do with this town.”

“Inazuma-san will be out of your hair and I will be off this planet. Aren’t we the main cause of your discomfort here?”

No, there was a little more than that.

One of my famous assumptions.

“Let’s just say I don’t like staying in an area where I was discovered, even if it was just once.”

“You humans are such fickle things.”

“Yeah, we really are fickle, huh? I’m too sensitive, wanting comfort in my life and to live by my own rules. In fact, aren’t I helping you do the same?”

“No one is getting hurt by my desire to return home.”

“What about your parents?”

“They aren’t my parents. They never were, and never will be.”

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting them, Tamatsu-san.”

“You’re making another assumption about me. About my home life. I would like you to stop that.”

“Are you suggesting they’ll be happier with you gone?”

“To put it bluntly, they would, yes. My parental figures as of now wished for me to be perfect, which I attempted but failed to do so. I’m not human. I failed at being human. I have no regrets, but I know that after today, they will have nothing but regrets. Such as humans do.”

“I don’t know what part of this statement I should ask about. You know, if you were a regular human, such a thing would be good evidence of a traumatic experience.”

“You’re very right, but I’m not human. They were nothing for me, and will continue to be nothing. I felt nothing when I dealt with these situations, and I will continue to feel nothing.”

 _I’m just not built for it_ , she continued. I sighed and took out more pieces of gum, chewing them all at once. 

It was all too much.

What a riot.

I almost wanted to puke, with how much of a riot it was.

Because I felt the same way.

That inability to feel real emotion, going through the motions instead of going by what’s in my heart. Nothing clicked, nothing made me feel anything deep down, a sense of numbness articulated by the inactivity within my veins. Nothing beats, nothing happens, nothing goes on.

I felt nothing.

Well.

Besides misery.

Despair.

Damage.

Pain.

Those were the only things that got my blood moving. What made me believe in what I did and who I was. I had so much misery within myself, it was too much. So much that I needed more to even it out. Much more.

I needed all the misery in the world.

Guess that makes me human.

A bit too human for comfort.

But such is life.


	10. Chapter 10

And so I found myself.

Once again.

In handcuffs.

My right hand was connected to a pole inside a telephone booth, outside one of this town's finest internet cafes, with no one around to see me in this position. It was odd, to say the least. For one, a shopping district should be filled to the brim with patrons around noon, and yet I couldn’t see anyone walking within a three block radius. The occasional car passed by, but they paid no mind to the Devil in chains.

Somehow, it fit. Today was already off, why shouldn’t it continue to be?

After Tamatsu and I discussed her plans and her status as an alien, we ate lunch and headed into the shopping district in town. It was not as long of a walk as it was from the forest to her apartment, but the journey still left some time to reflect.

I didn’t want to reflect, but it comes naturally with boredom.

Tamatsu Uchuu was not the normal girl I thought she was. She was far beyond the title of ‘normal,’ at this rate. She said she was an alien, and had appropriate responses to support her position. Of course, no hard evidence, but I had learned to accept that hard evidence was not easy to come by in my position. Many of those who contacted me said things that would raise an eyebrow or two, but more often than not it was the truth. The abnormal is more common than the normal, if you can believe it.

Of course, I didn’t believe in the abnormality I was seeing now.

I couldn’t accept something like this.

For obvious reasons.

As we approached the cafe, she grabbed my hand, put one half of the cuffs around my wrist, and pushed me into the booth. I didn’t catch what she had to say about her deed, but I could make a few assumptions.

One of them is my history as someone who runs away. If she was to spend her time researching on one of the many computers inside, then that would leave me ample time to run off and out of this life of hers. It was smart of her to nip it in the bud before it had the chance to bloom into a goal of mine.

I already had the idea when we were walking here. She was a smart cookie.

Still, the situation I was put in was very unkind. This was worse than the chair I was cuffed to yesterday. While the chair was awkward, at least I could move around. Here, I was trapped in a box, with no one around to notice my plight. All I could do was sit on the floor, put my back against the wall of the box, and think.

Or, as I learned around the ten minute mark, I could call someone.

Someone important.

I explored my pockets, taking out some of the coins I carried for computer time within the cafe. It was disappointing not to use this money for its intended use, but I didn’t mind too much.

Money is made to be spent, as my colleague often stated.

That is, the colleague I was calling right now.

I dialed their number, and the call immediately disconnected within a few seconds of ringing.

As it often did.

I entered a few more coins and continued to call.

After attempt number four, I finally connected.

“Who is this?” A voice spoke out from the phone.

“Hey, this is—”

Click.

Call disconnected.

And the cycle continues.

We planned to spend a few hours in the cafe, so I had more than enough yen to play this game. Most of my money was in coinage for this very same reason. The only downside to having my money in coins was the look on the cashier’s face in any convenience store I visited late at night.

Although, it wasn’t a downside for me.

I ate it up.

After a few minutes of this game of hot potato, I tried something new. When my colleague answered, I used the sleeve of my jacket to mask my voice.

“Hello, ███-san, I was given your card by a classmate and I have—”

“I know it’s you. You know the price.”

“... Fine. Add another thousand.”

I stopped using the sleeve to mask my voice.

“Ah, hello, Numachi-chan. You have contacted me at an awkward time, but since I am generous, I will lend an ear. I take it you have another issue on your hands?”

“Yes, I do. I’m currently handcuffed in a phone booth.”

“...”

Click.

I should have seen this coming.

I redialed their number and was able to connect immediately.

“Do not call again, and do not speak my name in their company. Consider your debts paid if you don’t.”

“I haven’t met any officers of the law, ███-san. This isn’t about legal trouble.”

“Knowing you, you have gotten into  _ some _ sort of trouble, and I want no part in it. Do not call me again.”

“Have you heard of a shooting star?”

The line was silent for almost a minute. I knew it did not disconnect, but I was worried about any line difficulties during the last ten seconds.

“... Why are you asking this sort of question?”

“Some girl I just met is trying to find a shooting star that supposedly landed nearby this village I’m in. I was wondering if this was... You know, something of interest.”

“If I was speaking to anyone else, I would have thought they were pulling my leg. A shooting star is common knowledge, so I would have to be deaf to not have heard of one.”

“I know it’s common knowledge. I need to make sure it’s nothing unusual.”

“Unusual? To expect something abnormal from something as simple as a meteor is not like you.”

“I haven’t been myself lately, yeah. I have a reason this time.”

I explained the last three days to my colleague, not a single detail spared. Beyond a few comments— upon mentioning Inazuma, they interrupted me with a “What kind of name is that?”— they listened intently, letting me speak my piece.

After I finished, I heard a sigh from the other end of the line.

“Numachi-chan, I expected better of you.”

“You did, huh?”

“Yes, I did. You’ve made a lot of mistakes getting here, too many for me to ignore. I thought better of you, getting yourself into this situation.”

“Yeah, I know. This has been nothing but mistakes.”

“For future reference, hiding is one valuable tactic that can prevent any unnecessary discourse. You’ve had four moments that could have been resolved by hiding, and you took none of them.”

“I’m not very good at hiding. I stick out like a sore thumb.”

“It’s better than believing you can outrun a high school student. You’re still young so I won’t blame you for making rash decisions, but this lesson should be helpful for you in the future.”

“You know I’m technically a high school student now.”

“Hmm, yes you’re right. I have forgotten that. If that is the case, then your friends Tamatsu and... Inazuma, are your senpai. You should be showing them more respect.”

“Haha, funny joke. So, next time I’ll try to hide away from my captors and head towards an escape during a window of opportunity.”

“Not quite. You should escape when it has become night, since you have the stamina to wait out your opponents. Those who follow the rules religiously, as you stated, are prone to avoiding a school at night. In the art of war, patience is a virtue and a weapon.”

“Noted, I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m kidnapped by some idealistic high school students who wouldn’t mind causing me bodily harm.”

“It would be quite wise.”

I popped another joint, my neck. Staying in one place for too long was making me uncomfortable.

“What else should I learn from my difficulties, ███-san?”

“You should stop making the assumptions you’ve been making.”

Ah, this again.

Can’t say I didn’t deserve it, but it was getting old.

“What kind of assumptions have I been making?”

“Your friend, Momo was it? Although I understand the paranoia you have regarding her introduction in your life, you are putting too much effort into believing your assumptions to be true, instead of bets that may come up empty.”

“That’s an interesting way to put it. Between you and me, ███-san, I find her worrying. Ever since I became a Devil, I’ve been wary of this sort of thing.”

“A very mature way of approaching this situation, but don’t let your paranoia consume you. Even if there is a high chance of your friend being an Oddity, as you believe, it is still only a chance. A theory that can be proven wrong.”

“I was only reflecting on her, so I don’t see why this is such a big deal.”

“Because it may become a big deal later on. You should nip this in the bud, before it grows into something ugly.”

“I don’t think calling something ugly involving a young girl is a smart thing to do.”

“...”

They stayed quiet on the line for a moment. Almost like they were contemplating cutting the line then and there.

They were right, to be fair. I’ve made far too many assumptions about the people I’ve met during these last few days.

For Tamatsu, I thought she was a normal, idealistic girl.

For Momo, I thought she was an Oddity, just from her giving me the benefit of the doubt and a few words of encouragement.

For Inazuma... I was on the mark, but like usual she was an outlier.

Add those to the lists of mistakes I’ve made. Of course, I had no plans to make amends, but it was something I could learn from.

Something to consider.

After a few minutes of discussing what was nice to tell a girl of my age, we finally approached the main topic at hand.

“Numachi-chan, although it may seem as if you have hit a brick wall, that doesn’t mean it ends for you here. The lesson to be learned today is to think outside the box.”

“That’s a vague statement that doesn’t mean much of anything, ███-san. Aren’t you supposed to give me life lessons I can follow easily?”

“This is one of them, although you’re rejecting my teaching. You are in the strict mindset of escape by direct means, not understanding what makes a proper escape.”

“A proper escape. Weird phrasing.”

“I won’t argue semantics with you, Numachi-chan. Escape can mean a great many things, depending on the circumstances.”

“Can you be direct about it?”

“To answer your question with another question: what are you running from, Numachi-chan?”

...

Turning around one of my schticks on me.

How comical.

They were right, though. I was thinking too literally, I didn't consider the possibilities laid out before me. Although I had many chances to hide, running away had a limited palette.

But I was only thinking in one color.

Something to consider, indeed.

As we said our goodbyes, I sighed and checked my pockets. I still had one thousand yen on hand, so I could attempt to call someone else. Not that I knew who to call, nor did I particularly want to.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door to the phone booth. I couldn’t see who was outside very well, due to sitting on the floor, so I opened the door from my spot and looked out.

It was Momo.

She was wearing a modest dress shirt with a plaid skirt that went to her knees, holding a different purse today. No sun hat, but there were sunglasses on her face. She knew how to handle the summer heat.

She started laughing the moment she saw me in here.

“I thought I recognized you in here. Weren’t you supposed to be miles away by now?”

My only reply was to lift the wrist cuffed to the pole inside, wiggling it a bit so she could notice. She looked at me disappointedly.

“... Oh, Rouka-san, what did you do?”

“Despite how it looks, I am not in trouble with the law. Promise.”

Momo sat down in front of me as I kept the door open with my foot. I began to tell her most of what happened since the time we had last met, sparing a few details. The details spared were my observations about Momo, and my discussion with the colleague.

After I recounted the last 24 hours, Momo rubbed her chin and looked to be deep in thought.

“... So, I’d say your luck has been pretty terrible lately, huh?” she asked.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Like, normally people have a 60/40 ratio, but it seems like you got stuck with 70/30. Maybe even 80/20.”

“It definitely feels like it, for sure. I don’t like basing my experiences on something like luck, but you can definitely view my day from that angle.”

“Mmhm! Maybe I should get you a good luck charm. Oh oh! Wait!”

Momo began going through her purse, tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth. She looked cute, in a way. Almost childlike. I forgot to ask her age, but she didn’t seem past my own.

She took out a bottle of green tea, presenting it to me.

“It isn’t much, but maybe some good will can turn the tide. Hehehe, I don’t know why I bought this, anyway.”

I nodded to her and took it, taking a drink. I hadn’t had tea in a while, wasn’t my kind of thing. But it tasted nice.

“I appreciate your help, once again. Despite the fact I treat you unfairly, you’ve helped me get back on my feet more than I’d like to admit.”

“It’s only been twice so far, Rouka-san.”

“Still, it’s more than I deserve.”

“Why don’t you think you deserve it?”

“I’ve been having misconceptions about you, about who you are. I’ve been making assumptions I shouldn’t be making, ones with zero evidence to support them.”

“What kind of assumptions have you made about me?”

“That you were... Well, to be honest, I thought you were someone who wanted to take advantage of me. A fake. A young girl in a sunhat, alone in a shrine, can make you worry about your life; but that’s just an excuse. I’ll acknowledge that.”

“No, you’re right, it’s something to get worried about. Hehehe, I’m surprised to see you admit it though, did someone shake it out of you?”

“How could you tell?”

“I don’t know a lot about you, Rouka-san, but you seem like someone who’s really tense and worried, even when something good is going on. Like everything is too good to be true, or something. You would need a firm shake to get out of that rut of yours.”

“That’s a fair observation. You can say I’m paranoid, but I don’t think that’s the proper word for it.”

“Cautious?”

“That’s more appropriate. Cautious.”

“That’s why I won’t judge you. I looked pretty suspect in my dress and hat, all on my lonesome, hehehe. Not to worry, I have an excuse!”

“I’m glad you do.”

“My family isn’t going to make it for the festival tomorrow, so dad asked me to put up some wishes early. We aren’t a very religious family, but it’s tradition in our household.”

“Makes sense; that was another assumption I made.”

“Was it your first assumption about me?”

“You can say that. At first glance, that’s what I thought when I saw you out there.”

“Then you were on the mark. That’s kind of how it happens, huh? A first gut reaction being the truth.”

“Tamatsu-san said the very same thing. ‘The first five minutes’ was a point in our discussion. How you learn everything about someone within the first time you meet them.”

“Yeah, she’s got it! I knew she had a good head on her shoulders.”

“I don’t know if I believe it, though. I’m a believer in the idea that people have multiple faces, depending on who they meet. Sure, you may know someone deeply upon examination of their first face, but they always have more. You never see the full picture.”

“Humans are complicated, for sure, but you misunderstand the point of the multiple faces metaphor, Rouka-san. That doesn’t mean you’re a different person, you just wear a different mask. Who you are inside doesn’t change. You see through the mask when you first meet someone, because it’s not established yet.”

“Then, you saw through my own mask.”

“Yep! Although I didn’t look into you too much, I thought that would be rude.”

She laughed and pushed down her glasses.

“You have enough on your plate, don’t need someone psychoanalyzing you.”

“You’re right, but someone beat you to the punch.”

“I heard, hehehe. Tamatsu-san definitely lives by her standards. I don’t have a lot of advice to give you about dealing with her, but I’d say just stick with her.”

“I really don’t want to be involved in her nonsense.”

“I didn’t think you’d be such a quitter.”

“Quitting is all I do. I’d rather stick with that than trying to pretend to be something I’m not.”

“You can look at it like that, but I think this is a different situation. Still though, a shooting star! Hehehe, if you do find it, you might get a good fortune from it.”

“I’m not in it for luck.”

“You don’t want to be in it at all, Rouka-san, so you can’t give me that excuse.”

“Even if I wanted to be, I don’t want money for doing what I do.”

“I don’t think you ever told me what you do, Rouka-san.”

“It’s not very interesting.” I leaned back, arms behind my head. “Let’s just say I like collecting gossip.”

“Gossip, huh?”

“Gossip. Simple gossip about what people are dealing with. If you have any to share, feel free.”

“Hehehe, I have a few stories. Like some girl being murdered by one of the student council members, but you probably heard of that one by now.”

“Very funny.”

She began giggling to herself, covering her face like she’d told a very bad joke.

“Besides that one though, I have heard a few. Mainly about Tamatsu, since Kusarijou is on the map recently for what they’ve done.”

“I really hope my name isn’t being spread around.”

“Nope, it isn’t. I would know. Everyone thinks you were some ten year old who got kidnapped from her family’s backyard, hehehe.”

“... A ten year old.”

“Yes!”

“Didn’t they see me get chased by Inazuma?”

“That’s why they thought you were so young.” Momo could barely contain her laughter. “You looked so small compared to her. No one took any photos, but everyone is calling you ‘that poor little girl.’”

Despite the fact I despised Momo’s laughter and the fact I was considered a small girl in the local gossip, this was a net positive.

Although I stand out very easily in a crowd, with my dyed hair and cast, these rumors spread and they expect someone much smaller than me. This allows me to wander unharmed and unnoticed, if I so choose.

I wasn’t choosing this town, however. Once I was able to escape the grasp of Tamatsu, I would run as far away as I could from this place.

Still... Being referred to as a little girl did not help my self-esteem. I thought I looked like an adult, but I was proven wrong once again.

As Momo said her regards and left me here in the phone booth without assistance —she stated she was needed elsewhere for today, shopping before she was to take a family trip— I was once again alone with my thoughts.

All of them leading toward one thing.

Escape.

I was going to find a way out.

I was going to run away.

Sticking to my goals, sticking to my philosophy.

Unshakable.

Nothing would stop me.

Nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

“You know, Tamatsu-san, you should consider a career change.”

I spoke with food in my mouth, making a bit of a mess. I felt I had the right to do so; the food deserved the treatment. Katsu curry with homemade curry roux, freshly bought chicken, and enough spice to keep me awake after a long day. I wasn’t a foodie, nor did I have a single taste bud to recognize the gourmet, but I could say without a doubt that it was, indeed, delicious.

Who knew an alien could cook something like this.

She shook her head, seated across from me. She was finished with her plate, while I’d gone to get seconds.

“No amount of earthly cuisine will keep me here, although I respect the way you have used your planet’s resources to your benefit.”

“Yeah, that old human ingenuity, huh?”

“It’s inspiring, the way you humans do it. I’ll take this information with me, just in case my people need to learn something from you.”

“I know you didn’t follow the recipe.”

“But you were the ones who laid out the blueprint so I may advance the palate to its rightful state. It’s only natural to recognize those that came before you.”

“Sure, sure. Still, if I could pay you to stick around and cook for me, I would.”

I finished my plate in no time at all. My mouth was on fire, but that’s the way curry should be.

I’m glad I stuck around for this long. I know, I know it’s selfish to abandon my philosophy for a bite to eat, but what can I say?

I’m a hypocrite.

After Tamatsu came back from the internet cafe, she unlocked my cuffs and assisted me in getting up from the floor, since I had been lying there for some time and my good leg was asleep. We bickered a bit about leaving me in the booth, but I ultimately decided against putting up too much of a fight.

Tamatsu took me shopping, partially to wake me up after my imprisonment, but to also make sure she was cooking something decent for me. I was a guest in her household for the remainder of the day, and she wanted me to be treated like one. I wasn’t picky, so I mentioned that I hadn’t had curry in a while. For some reason, this activated some part of her brain that took that as a cue to make everything from scratch, while I would be just as happy with some cheap take-out.

I wasn’t about to complain, though. For one, she worked like a professional upon arriving home, every single movement made with clockwork precision. Everything on time, multitasking better than I ever could. It was a marvel to behold, and it made me want to consider all the pain I’ve experienced the last few days worth it.

But I wasn’t going to do that.

I had too much on my mind to do something like that.

After the food was done, she ate her meal in a few bites and relaxed across from me as I pigged out on my large portions. She was patient, watching me like someone would watch a monkey in a zoo. Well, if there was anything I learned the last few days, it was that I was her monkey until I was out of here.

After both our meals were finished, she put away the dishes and washed them with the same concentration and speed she had during cooking. I could barely hear her past the sound of the water.

“I know I have done nothing but apologize since I first spoke to you, Devil-san, but I must do so again. Putting you inside the booth was a decision I can regret with confidence.”

“I don’t know how you can confidently regret something, but thank you for the apology. I really don’t like staying in one place for too long.”

“I could have put the cuffs around my own wrist, but that would have aroused more suspicion than it was worth.”

“And yet leaving me locked in a phone booth was a safe level of suspicion?”

“Yes, it was. I thought you understood that, Devil-san.”

Unfortunately, I did.

I couldn’t tell anyone about my situation.

All options led to the police being called, and my status as a wanderer exposed.

I couldn’t have that.

I sighed and chewed some of my after-dinner gum. Watermelon flavor. Tamatsu finished the dishes and walked up to her closet, starting to undress. I covered my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket, so she could keep her modesty. I was intruding in her home, anyway.

“Is my appearance that unsightly?”

“No, no it isn’t. I’m not comfortable seeing people I know naked, is all.”

“Why is that? From what you told Inazuma, you were part of a basketball team. Didn’t you see them naked?”

“I tried not to, is the thing.”

“Once again, I would like to know why.”

“Well—”

“I know about your magazines, so I expected you would yearn for a chance like this.”

If you could believe it.

This little devil’s heart sank.

“My... My magazines.”

“Yes. Your collection, as I understand it. I did mention that I went through your bag.”

“Right.”

Shit. 

“That’s right, you did.”

This isn’t good.

“You did mention that you looked through my things.”

This isn’t good at all.

I still had my eyes covered, but I could hear her gently laughing.

“Once again, you’re doing the opposite of what I expected. That’s what I like about you. I believed you would be unashamed of what you like.”

“What I like, yeah.”

“A fine selection, from my understanding. I looked up a few of them online, since I was unfamiliar with some of the terms. Tomboy, was it? Girls who dress in a nontraditional manner? ‘Older women in tights’ was an easy term to understand, although I had a hard time understanding ‘High Miss’ and ‘Jukujo’. The way you organized your material was very inspiring. It reminds me of the student council.”

What’s more befitting of a Devil— 

— Than to be in Hell.

This was absolutely Hell.

I tried to speak, but Tamatsu once again held onto the conversation like a snake constricting its prey.

“Collecting such an amount of material as this is inspiring. It is a perfect representation of the beauty of human nature. The passion you have is what gives me hope for your species.”

“I... I thank you for the compliments, Tamatsu.”

“Although, it is very unlike other girls that I have gotten to know. You’re an outlier, as usual. Maybe Devil-kun would be more appropriate for you, then. It fits you.”

“Haha, yes it does...”

“Ah-kuu-mah-kun. It flows very nicely.”

“Tamatsu, I don’t think I can deal with this much longer.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“There’s an emotion us humans have called ‘embarrassment’, if you can believe it.”

“I’ve heard of that one. A few students I know have displayed this during public activities.”

“I’m feeling it now. It’s not a very nice one.”

“Oh, do you wish me to stop speaking about the magazines you have collected?”

“Please, I would very much appreciate that.”

“I will heed your wishes, then. Apologies, Devil-kun.”

I sighed and kept my eyes covered. I would keep them covered until the day I died, if I had a choice.

I heard her feet shuffling on the floor, approaching me from the previous spot in her apartment.

“Before we prepare for the journey, I would like to go over the trail we will follow to the star.”

“Where did it land?”

“Around eight kilometers to the southeast, closer to the railway. I’d rather not attract attention by following the tracks, so I have mapped out our route here.”

I uncovered my eyes like a complete fool, falling for the bait Tamatsu laid out, expecting a map in front of me.

Well, I did get a map.

A map tastefully covering the part of her body that was too much for TV.

Whoever adapted this should get a raise.

I closed my eyes as soon as I noticed, suppressing a grunt from the trick she’d played on me.

“What’s wrong, Devil-kun? Do you not like the path we’re taking? I can make modifications—”

“Please don’t play dumb, Tamatsu.”

“I am not able to play dumb, as stupidity is not a game. Are you uncomfortable with the outfit I’m wearing?”

“What, nothing?!”

“I have tastefully selected underwear that may be to your liking, as a reward for your cooperation.”

“I don’t need a reward—”

“Do not undersell yourself, without you I would not be able to get home. If you wish for any other form of underwear, I have a fine selection.”

“Just put on your regular clothes, please.”

“Is that what you’re into?”

“Yes! Yes that is what I’m into! You dressing modestly in your own home, I’m very much into that!”

“Your tastes continue to amaze me, Devil-kun.”

I heard her walk away from the table and open her closet. I took a long sigh of relief, finally out of the fire.

“Once again I must ask if this body is that unattractive to you.”

“I’ll say the same thing I said before: I don’t like seeing people I know naked.”

“Why do you have such a standard?”

“It gets awkward, honestly. If you know the person behind the body you’re looking at, it feels like knowing too much about them. I’d rather keep what I know about you to a minimum.”

“I agree with you, Devil-kun, but that shouldn’t be a negative. It’s better to know few deeply than to know many shallowly. Showing one’s body is skipping a few steps.”

“I don’t like skipping steps. I like staying at square one, at all times.”

“So you’ve never met anyone who you have known past square one?”

“Nope, never.”

“What about someone you wished to know beyond the first step?”

“... Never had someone like that.”

“You paused.”

“So I did. Doesn’t mean anything, really. I had to think about it, since you do meet certain people in your life who you have an interest in, but it never leads anywhere. I learned quickly that it’s better to cap those emotions.”

“You have just lied to me twice. Have you or have you not met someone who you momentarily wished to know more?”

“...”

A long pause. Probably wasn’t longer than five seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

“Apologies if I put you on the spot.”

“You did, but don’t worry about it.”

It’s nothing, really.

Nothing at all.

I’d rather just forget it.

I heard her close the closet door, and decided to take the risk in opening my eyes. Luckily, she was wearing a shirt, but that’s where my luck ended. She wasn’t wearing pants or a skirt. At least her shirt was large enough to cover what mattered.

Still, all I could do was sigh and deal with it. At least she wore something.

We went over the path we were taking to the location of the fallen star. Our conversation was carried by Tamatsu’s detailed planning, including rest stops and the necessary equipment. Although it wasn’t a short distance, she factored in my disability and planned accordingly. Food, water, even an umbrella if it rained. She had really thought it through.

We were to leave by midnight.

I relaxed in my chair as Tamatsu slept on the floor, having passed out mid-walk back from the bathroom. It was a sight to see; she’d been in the middle of a conversation about some Western horror movie from the eighties involving clowns, collapsing right before she could tell me about how insulting it was as an alien.

It was almost cute.

This alien, pushing herself so far.

I decided to sit by the window to pass the time while I waited for midnight. She had a few books in her apartment, but they were the same as everything else she owned. Covered in aliens. It was admirable, the way she focused on something like this. She praised us humans for being passionate, and yet the most intense passion lies solely with her.

If anything, she was someone to look up to.

Believing in something so hard that it hurt her inside.

A driving force that sped in one direction, never failing to reach its destination. Never stopping, often increasing in speed upon outside interference. A force of nature.

Alien or not, it was incredible.

Shame I wasn’t the right person to acknowledge her as someone so incredible. I was a stubborn fool, an idiot who believed in delusions that hurt her deep down. I constantly failed, constantly got things wrong, constantly got myself into awful situations with no easy way out. I was pitiful.

Utterly pitiful.

After the day’s events, that was the only thing in my head.

Self-pity.

Self-hatred.

Acknowledgment of the self and all its dirty, dirty flaws.

A despicable devil.

So this alien helped keep my gravity, in her own way. A distraction, nothing more and nothing less.

She never told me what misery she needed help with.

I wanted to find out.


	12. Chapter 12

What did it mean to be truly miserable?

That was the question that circled my head as I accompanied Tamatsu into the forest, a flashlight illuminating our path. Even with the sounds of the leaves crunching beneath our feet, I felt no attachment to my senses.

I was too deep in thought. I repeated the question.

What made someone truly miserable?

I considered the many flavors of misery I’ve collected. Pain, self doubt, hatred, all of these thoughts swirled in my head. What was truly miserable? Was it the anger you feel deep down when you fail at being who you wanted to be? Was it the lack of care about your own health, even wishing for harm but being unable to do it yourself? Was it the pain you experience, day by day, without anyone to worry about you?

There were so many possible routes through misery, too many to count. It came with my service, but that isn’t to say my understanding of misery is due to my status as a Devil.

I’ve felt my own fair share of misery. In fact, that misery is the exact reason for doing what I do.

I gave Tamatsu a half lie when I first met her. It was true that I became a Devil due to there being nothing else to occupy my time, but there was more than that. Much more.

I felt Tamatsu could understand that, beneath her alien skin. I felt she understood what was inside me, deep down. The true devil. Although, I’ve been told multiple times not to assume things about others. I’ll follow their directions.

Whatever happens, happens.

I’m holding my bets.

“Devil-kun, would you like to take a break?”

Tamatsu spoke to me, pulling my head out of the clouds, while carrying my bag. She swapped out most of my clothes and materials with food and water, like we were going hiking. It was only eight kilometers, but it was best to stay careful.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ve walked far longer distances in worse conditions.” I replied to her, my crutch keeping my footsteps steady on the forest ground. I had a knack for walking through the woods with my crutch.

“I do not doubt you, but I would like you to be in one piece once we arrive. I am unsure of what method will be necessary for my extraction, so you should be in your best shape.”

I sighed and nodded to her, closing my eyes.

We continued along the forest floor, the moon over our heads.

Midnight, July 7th.

Day four in my week of failure.

I didn’t keep track of how long our travel was, but my disability slowed us down considerably. Tamatsu didn’t mind; she stuck to me like glue, even assisting me past some obstacles like large tree branches and rocks.

We traveled deep into the forest, following the map as closely as possible. Our destination lay at the foot of a nearby mountain, elevated from the rest of the forest floor. The geography of this area was once again picturesque, even outside city limits.

The residents were so lucky.

Tamatsu was so lucky.

But luck was never enough.

Tamatsu turned her head to look at me during our trek, following a long period of silence. She didn’t look the least bit tired.

“May I ask a selfish question, Devil-kun?”

“Go ahead. Nothing’s stopped you before.”

“You’re the last human I will ever see, and I now realize how important that is to me. When I remember humanity, I will remember you.”

“I’m glad you will. It’s good to be remembered.”

“And yet I don’t know your real name.”

“I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one now, but you had one previously, did you not?”

“... You’re right, but it doesn’t matter anymore now.”

I popped the joint in my neck. It hurt, but it gave me release.

“If you’re going away, I would rather you know my current name than any name I’ve had in the past. I want to control how I’m remembered. Call that a part of human nature.” I continued.

“Controlling your identity?”

“Precisely. Instead of wondering what my name was before, you should be more focused on the identity you’re leaving behind.”

“Hmm, I have not considered that. I do not worry about how others think of me. It doesn’t matter as much as who I am, deep down.”

“I don’t believe that, Tamatsu. You’ve told me the reason you created this persona of yours, right?”

“Yes, to keep my identity a secret from the common population.”

“Isn’t that worrying about how others view you, as a person?”

“I’m not a—”

“Not a person, right. Then let’s say, ‘As a being.’”

“Hmm...” She stopped and scratched her chin, contemplating this. “... You could say that, yes. Once again, I’m in awe of your mental prowess.”

“You give me too much credit, Tamatsu.”

“You deserve every ounce of credit I give you. You truly are the sum of humanity’s progress.”

“Hahaha...” I tried to laugh it off, but I failed to hide how it made me feel. “I don’t really get it, but don’t let me stop you.”

“If you don’t understand, I can spell it out for you.”

She turned to look at me, her expression calm and focused.

“I was wrong the first time I met you. When I said you were a fool, I misunderstood the beauty of your philosophy.”

“Beauty, huh?”

“It was beautiful, truly. Living by your own means, not being held down by the useless earthly consumerism that has plagued humanity as of late.”

“I still consume, you know. If I didn’t wander, cashiers would know my name by heart.”

“But you do not make your consumption who you are. Every human I have met in my life has been so caught up in cycles, in the so-called grindstone of human life. Adults, teenagers, children, they all have felt this grind in the way they live, and frankly it disgusted me.”

She reminded me of Inazuma, as the twinkle in her eyes grew stronger.

“I didn’t have much hope for humans, in fact I felt a strong contempt for them. I felt they were too structured, too trapped in the hell of their own creation. I couldn’t feel the pain they did, but I could see how they recoiled from it. They accepted it. They embraced it. They accepted their punishment and considered it happiness. I couldn’t take it. I was going to give up on you all.”

Suddenly, a faint smile appeared on her face.

“And then I met you. A human who rejected the cage, who lives by her own means. Even with a clear disadvantage, you continue onward. Without delay, without worry. How could I not find that beautiful? How could I not see you and believe in humanity’s strengths?”

I couldn’t speak. No words came out as she sang my praises within this silent forest.

“I’m glad that you’re the last human I’ll ever see. Although I cannot feel your human emotions, the closest comparison to my own is happiness. All for you, who has given me hope for humanity.”

She looked at me and smiled warmly. It was one of the few smiles I’ve seen on her face these last few days.

A smile that shone.

Like a star.

“I’m happy to have met you, Devil-kun.” She spoke, her voice airy but full of feeling.

This alien, trying her best to show an emotion she could never articulate to a lowly human like me.

I didn’t deserve it.

I didn’t deserve a single piece of this.

I wanted to tell her how wrong she was. How she was looking at nothing but misery, recoiling in its own cycles. There is nothing good here, Tamatsu. There was never anything good. You’re a fool. I’m a fool. We’re all fools. Fools. Fools. Fools. Hearing you tell me these sweet nothings before the end of this mess makes me want to throw up. Throw up all the good food you’ve given me. Throw up all the good will you’ve given me. Throw up  _ everything _ you’ve given me. I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t. All I am is misery. Misery. Miserable. Miserable little devil. That’s all I am. That’s—

But I didn’t say any of that.

I didn’t say a word.

I gave her a fake smile and nodded my head.

As we continued forward.

We arrived at our destination later on that night. I didn’t know the time, at this point I didn’t care. Our destination was a clearing within the forest, with a small pond of water in the middle.

There was no sign of debris.

No sign of any UFO.

There was nothing around us that could remotely have come from a star.

Tamatsu looked and looked, asking me for assistance in moving some rocks and digging. She used her hands, while I used a stick with my approach. We couldn’t do much without a shovel, but we made some progress, at least.

Tamatsu was at first firm in her mannerisms, taking what she saw in front of her in stride. Telling me everything was going to be okay, that it was buried to hide away from the general population. Unfortunately, over time, she appeared... distracted. By what? Well, you can make a few guesses.

Over time, with every single couple of minutes, she looked around past our small dig site. Like she was looking for someone to pop out and tell her it was all a prank or something. All I did was continue to dig.

Until it was too much to bear.

She was rubbing both of her temples as I stopped using the stick for digging, leaning on it as I would my crutch.

“Tamatsu—”

“Please, be quiet. I’m trying to locate where my transportation will be.”

“...”

What a riot.

I sighed as I sat in the grass, taking out some food from my bag. I ate a small snack cake, with some juice. It was nice.

Tamatsu huffed as she grabbed the stick I placed down and forcibly jabbed it into the dirt.

“It has to be underground. There’s nothing within the trees, there’s nothing within the rocks, it has to be buried. They’re so smart, but annoying. Give me a sign, before I find it. Please.”

“Tamatsu, I think that’s enough.”

She turned to look at me, the bags underneath her eyes appearing darker than they had an hour ago.

“It’s not enough until we find it, Devil. It’s bound to be a signal for pick up.”

I could only sigh again as she continued to dig. I decided to finally deal with it, as it had gone on long enough.

What a horrible devil, making this girl do a dance like this for so long.

“What did you wish for?”

She turned to look at me again, her face never changing from that blank expression.

“I apologize, I don’t know what you mean.” Tamatsu replied.

“You know, we’re looking for a shooting star, right? When you see a shooting star, you wish for something. Haven’t your parents told you about that?”

“They have, but I did not wish for anything.”

“If you weren’t so hellbent on looking for it, I’d believe it.” I stood up, leaning on my crutch. “Tell me what you wished for, Tamatsu.”

“As I stated, I didn’t wish—”

“I said the same thing to myself, when I first saw it. I said I wouldn’t wish for anything, that I was as happy as I could be. But I lied to myself. I wished for something.”

“...”

“Do you want to know what I wished for?”

“... I do.”

“Then tell me what you wished for.”

“... I wished to go home. I desperately wanted to go where I belong.”

“That doesn’t cut it. That isn’t how wishes work. There’s always another side to a wish, Tamatsu. What you wish for has something beneath it, something you never want to tell anyone else. That deep, subconscious desire that fuels every wish.”

“No, it’s simple—”

“It’s never simple. It’s never, ever simple. Every single good or bad thing that happens in this world has a reason. Tell me, Tamatsu.”

She was quiet for a few moments. She stopped digging, but held onto the large stick tightly. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell how she felt.

I understood every single emotion she was feeling.

And thus, she spoke.

She spoke firmly, passionately. She spoke like she needed to say what she had to say, that what she was saying meant the world to her.

She spoke.

“I wanted you to take me away from all this.”

She spoke.

“I wanted you to save me from everything.”

She spoke.

“I... Wanted you.”


	13. Chapter 13

There’s not much of a mystery to this one.

It just happens like that.

A young girl, captivated by the Devil.

Although I expected this, it was hard for me to reply. I wasn’t used to it, wasn’t used to the feeling of being desired.

I didn’t like it very much.

I didn’t like the gaze she had on me. She was focused, not blinking, not moving. Well, she was moving, in a sense. Her body was shaking.

But she was firm.

In what she believed.

In what she did.

In what she loved.

She spoke.

Firmly.

“I wanted you, Devil.”

Tamatsu began laughing. It was a weak laugh, but a laugh all the same.

“You did it. You made me spell it out. You really did what no one else could do. You’re still a wonder of human nature, Devil. Making me do all this. Do you want me to explain this, too? Do you not believe me?”

I tried to stay silent, but my voice got the better of me.

“It’s hard to believe it unless you state it outright.”

“Fine, then. I fell in love with you. The human emotion known as love. The chemical reaction between dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. I don’t feel those chemicals, but I got as close as I could get. Why did I? Well, how could I not?”

Her shaking became worse, like she was hardly able to stay afloat in the middle of all of this.

“You were the only human I’ve met who made me feel this way, that’s why. This hope for the future, this... Joy in what I represent. This realization that there was much more to it. Every human I knew kept telling me how important I was, how the deeds of what I did made me who I am. A hero. A savior. I wasn’t cut out for it.”

“You weren’t cut out to be human.” I spoke again, without meaning to.

I couldn’t control myself.

She sat down on the grass, clutching her knees as she kept her gaze locked on me. Still unbroken, still firm.

“I never was. You know how hard it is to... Keep that up? To keep up appearances? How hard it was to pretend to feel every single emotion they expected of me?”

I kept silent.

”I did my best, I did everything I could to fit their idea of a human, and it was never enough. It was never enough, Devil.”

Shaking, shaking, shaking. That was all my eyes could see.

“It’s never. Ever. Enough. They were taking everything I was, and replacing it with something I didn’t want. They viewed me as an example of the perfect human, no more than a human. How could I ever live up to that? How could I ever become what they want me to be?”

Someone to look up to. Someone that set the standard for living. Someone that did no wrong, that helped everyone they met, that lived every day as the perfect example of how to truly be a good person.

The best humanity could offer.

A star.

“A few years ago, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t handle the pressure. I collapsed and... I realized. I finally realized what I was. I was an alien. There was no other way I could feel the way I do. The incompatibility with this body’s own circuitry. The ways I felt when I was all alone, without anyone around. I felt nothing, I knew nothing.”

She was speaking as quickly as she could, words flowing from her lungs like a river. I could see the tears on her face as she spoke to me, but her voice never changed. She remained steady, her passion directed at me.

“I felt like I was nothing. I know you can feel it too, Devil. That rejection, once you know who you are. Once you know what you will be. Even if you don’t tell them, you know they’ll reject you. You know that what you are will be rejected, and they will force you to conform. Because that’s what humans do, right? They conform. They shape. They shape others, they shape themselves. A human shapes and is shaped by other humans.”

She was smiling, behind the tears.

“I wasn’t going to let it happen. I was trying to find a way out, to finally get away from you all. And... I found it.”

She pointed at me.

Her hand was shaking.

Like she was at the end of her rope, hardly able to contain everything pouring out of her.

“I found you.”

The smile grew brighter.

“You, the philosopher. The ideology you represented, the way you lived, it was... Everything I dreamed of. Everything I imagined freedom would be like. At first, I wanted to be like you. I analyzed everything you said, and tried to reflect it. But I knew I couldn’t reflect you. I knew you were just a human, and I couldn’t get close to how you were. I wasn’t human. I could never be human.

“So... It led to this. I finally confirmed it, after I found you yesterday morning. The way you struggled, the way you kicked and screamed. The way you never gave up on what you believed in. I knew what I had was... Love. Human love. Or... The closest thing to it.”

I couldn’t take much more of this.

But she continued.

“I knew I couldn’t be with you, Devil. I knew what it would mean for my position in school. I would be expelled, my parental figures would disown me, and you would be put in a home, far away. I couldn’t have that. So... The star was to be our way out. I wanted to take you with me.”

More shaking. Stop with the shaking. I don’t want to see this.

“But... I can’t now. I understand. I wished too hard for you, and the star couldn’t give me both an escape and you. But I know... I know you, Devil. I know what you will do now. I know that no matter how much I wish, the star can only do so much. It can’t change who you are. So go ahead.”

She choked up, but she was able to say it.

“Go."

This alien. This alien with tears pouring from her eyes. Those all too human eyes. Eyes that aren’t hers. Eyes that never were hers. Eyes that fit her face, but not what was deep down. Eyes that pierced me, that pierced through who I was.

This alien.

She didn’t understand.

I don’t blame her. Who could really blame someone like her?

She just didn’t understand.

A shooting star is not a star.

A shooting star can never be a star.

It’s a meteor that either melts into the atmosphere, or lands as a stupid rock on our planet.

It’s not a star. 

It’s never been a star.

What it appears to be is not what is.

Even if everyone borrowed who she was, she still didn’t understand what a star is.

Even if the truth was in front of her face, she wouldn’t understand who I was.

It’s the rejection of the truth. It’s the rejection of what is deep down, reflected onto the surface.

Denial.

Denying anything. Denying everything.

I couldn’t take much more of it.

So I decided not to.

As she stared at me, tears in her eyes, her body shaking and her life exposed for me to see, I did what was expected of me. I did what I was meant to do. I did what I was born to do.

I ran.

I ran into the forest.

I ran as I heard her finally break. This alien, losing everything.

I ran as fast as I could.

I don’t know how far I ran or how long I did. My mind was gone at this point. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t think very much at all. All I knew was the sound of grass beneath my feet, and the voice ringing out from behind me.

That voice, echoing into the night.

Screaming. Sobbing. 

Finally, broken.

I ran, and ran, and ran. When I was able to finally think, what I first thought about was my escape route. My way out. Potentially hiding in the trees, finding a nearby road and asking for help from someone willing to save a young girl. Anything to let me escape. Anything to take me away from here. From all this. From her.

But as I was envisioning my escape route, I noticed.

Her voice wasn’t close by.

The further I ran, the farther away it was.

Tamatsu Uchuu...

Finally gave up the ghost.

Another failure in her long strings of failures.

Depressing.

But it didn’t slow me down.

I continued along my path of rejection, running away from this fallen alien, unable to go home.

Unable to live by her own means. Unable to support herself as an entity of this world. Unable to be who she wanted to be.

You can say this is why I ran, but it’s not the full picture. You can make a few guesses, and most of them will be accurate.

Running away from the commitment.

Running away from her passion.

Running away, as my primary way of life.

Running away—

“I didn’t think you’d be such a quitter.”

This voice echoed in my head. No one spoke it around me, as it was a memory from my recent conversation with a particular someone.

A someone who I assumed to be something else, but was wrong. A failure, on my part. A failure to understand who someone was, surface level and deep down. 

But what was happening now was no failure. Quite the contrary. This is what I could call a successful showcase of my philosophy, an action that would keep me alive and free. Running away from this nonsense, running away from this alien unable to go home.

And yet.

A quitter.

I normally accept this title with gusto. There’s nothing wrong with being a quitter. A no-good loser. Someone who runs away from their problems. There’s nothing wrong with it, all positives.

And yet.

Her voice echoed in my head.

Why was I stuck on this word? This title?

My sprint turned into a light jog. The light jog turned into a walk. The walk... turned into me stopping in my tracks.

The forest was silent around me. Not a single sound besides the wind and the far away sobbing I heard behind me. I looked around, huffing from activity, and all I could do was think.

...

What was I doing.

What was I even remotely thinking of doing.

To be honest, I had too much on my mind to fully grasp what I was thinking, but deep down I knew. In my dreadfully human gut, I knew.

Damn it.

I knew too well.

This was going to be another failure. A failure that I can’t turn back on. A failure that I need to keep for the rest of my days.

Because I knew.

I was a quitter.

But I was the exception.

When someone wishes on a star, they wish for a goal.

I was a goal.

I was the star.

She wouldn’t let go of a star. I know what would happen if I ran off and let her stew in these emotions.

She wouldn’t let go. She would keep me in her sights, keep me in focus.

I didn’t want to deal with that. I wanted to continue running and to never stop. But I knew, deep down, what that would entail.

Besides.

She was a client. She was someone who requested my services. She was the one who approached the Devil with her worries, with her stresses and misery.

So I’ll accept this failure. This failure in my own philosophy, this failure in my own way of life. A failure that will be a constant reminder of how low I could go.

As I walked back, that was all I could think about.

Failure.

My own.

Tamatsu’s.

Earth’s.

I let them all soak into me.

As I went back to fulfill my duty as a Devil.


	14. Chapter 14

She put up a fight.

When she saw me coming back into the clearing, her voice became much louder. Much more volatile. A voice that didn’t match her demeanor, but I understood where it was coming from. Kicking and screaming, not from me running away...

But from me coming back.

Finding out the star is nothing but fire.

She couldn’t take it. It made everything worse. Her fragile mental state from being exposed to me before was now being ripped to pieces. Each piece visible to the naked eye. Each piece standing in stark contrast to the identity she had. If I left and continued on my way, she would have recovered and kept her mind intact. She could’ve been stable.

But I threw a wrench into the whole thing. I did it selfishly, to stop her from causing me discomfort.

This devil, ruining her life.

I watched her sob her eyes out and indulged in this misery. It was something I caused, something I had done to her. Something I will live with for the rest of my life. I never liked interacting with misery, but this was one time that I had to.

I had to soak it all in, to keep it with me. To learn from it. To become more than I am with it. To keep my gravity as a Devil. I used her this way, used her life and used her emotions. I took advantage of her.

It kept my head focused.

After she had no more tears to shed, all she could do was look at me. She was lying on the ground, her coat torn into pieces. My bag was in disarray, all of the food we bought was ripped apart and the water bottles crushed. I watched her do it too, I watched her ruin something I cared about.

I ate it up.

I ate it all up.

All of this violence.

All of this misery.

It was too much.

She continued to look at me. The look in her eyes was not her usual firm stare, but the glare of a caged animal. The stare of someone who was trapped, not physically but mentally. The stare of an animal who didn’t know what they did wrong.

I sat on a log close to her, lifting the leg of my pants as I rubbed my cast. I did so as a reminder of who I was, and what I did. A reminder to myself of how I got here, and where I could go next. I didn’t have plans to run now, since I had a duty.

A duty to help someone run away, and know what they’re running from.

Not running towards.

She looked to me, as I looked to her. She looked so fragile on the ground, like she’d fallen from the sky right then and there. All I could do was sigh and do what I should have from the beginning.

“My name is Numachi Rouka. ‘Numa’ written as marsh, ‘chi’ written as ground.”

I nodded to her, doing my best to give her a warm smile.

“And who are you?” I asked her.

She was quiet for a while, potentially minutes. Time didn’t feel real, so I couldn’t really measure how long she looked at me. After this duration, she finally spoke with a weak, battered voice.

“... Tamatsu Uchuu. ‘Ta’ written as many, ‘matsu’ as pine tree.”

“Oddly poetic, isn’t it?”

“I guess it is...”

“I think it’s poetic. It fits you. Seeing the forest for the trees, understanding how much goes into someone. Your family could be royalty with a name like that.”

“Oh...”

She didn't do anything further than that. She kept her silence, her stare wavering. She was holding herself like she was about to fall apart at any moment.

I took out some gum and began to chew a few pieces. I felt a few drops of rain hitting me, so I wanted to get this over with. Despite that, I stayed patient. I wasn’t going to rush something like this.

I spoke, meaning every word I said.

“Uchuu, I need to confess something to you.”

“...”

“I lied to you. I lied to you about who I am and why I do the things I do. I wanted to avoid the trouble of confessing these deeds, but they snowballed into a difficulty that shouldn’t exist.”

I took a deep breath...

“I became a Devil, not according to my own personal philosophy, at least not at first, but for the betterment of who I am. When I lost my scholarship, I almost drowned in my own misery. Hearing about others’ misery was my way out. I couldn’t get enough of it. When I hear about someone dealing with something horrible, I think ‘Good, they’re as miserable as I am,’ and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

“I take enjoyment from this, and I will continue to enjoy it. Even if my philosophy seemed rock solid to you, I’d break it in a heartbeat for my own enjoyment, for my own comfort and stability. Who I am is as fallible as I want it to be.”

“I don’t believe it...” Her voice sounded in pain, like it hurt her to speak these lines.

“Well, Uchuu, you can believe whatever you want to believe. That’s the freedom we, as humans, have. Freedom of expression, freedom of mind, freedom to be whoever we want to be at any given time.”

“I’m not free... I’m not like you...”

“I know you aren’t. You can never be like me. You, truly, are someone who can never be someone else. You can only be you.”

She didn’t respond, so I continued. “The thing is, Uchuu, I barely even know myself. Barely even know who I am, what makes me who I am, what’s deep inside this skin of mine. I don’t think anyone knows that kind of thing, anyway. It’s like we’re all hollow. Wait... That’s not a good analogy. It’s more like who we are is uncharted territory, and we only explore what we’re comfortable with exploring.

“I’ve done my fair bit of exploring in there, and I think I wanted to settle down. I wanted to wander at my own leisure, to sleep without dreaming. It’s a beautiful thing to sleep without dreaming. To not see what’s behind the curtain. You tried to understand what was behind it without taking a peek, though. You didn’t have an understanding of who I was, but you fell in love with what you thought was in these old bones of mine. I can’t judge you for it, but I know I can’t let this continue.”

“What’s wrong with falling in love...”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. I encourage it. Just not with me. I won’t try to wax philosophical about you liking me. Liking an image of me that doesn’t match up to the person in question. I just want you to stop it. I’ll admit, this is all selfish of me. I just don’t want you falling in love with someone like me.”

“Why... Why are you so against it?”

“I don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it. It’s why I came back. You need to see who I truly am.”

“There’s nothing wrong with who you are.”

“There’s so many things wrong, I don’t know where to start. You don’t realize how far this rabbit hole goes, Alice.”

“I don’t know what this is in reference to.”

“What, you haven’t read  _ Alice in Wonderland _ ?”

“No...”

“I guess I got you beat in Western knowledge then, haha. Jokes aside, you don’t know the full picture. None of us will know the full picture. When you first mentioned the ‘First five minutes’ theory, I thought about it for quite some time and finally figured out why I disliked it so much. It’s both right and wrong.”

“It isn’t...”

“It is. Sure, we put on a mask when we meet someone we haven’t met before, but behind the mask is merely who we understand ourselves to be. That’s never the full picture. We will never fully know everything about who we are. What’s hidden deep inside that subconscious of yours is a mystery, to everyone including yourself. You may think you understand who you are, but you only understand a part of you that’s easy to grasp. For example, why were you crying?”

“I... I don’t want to...”

“Please, tell me, Uchuu. Why were you crying when I came back? I thought you wanted me back.”

“I don’t know... I don’t know anything...”

“That’s what I mean. You don’t know. You can take guesses, but not a single one is educated. What you take a guess on may turn wrong in the future, and then your mental state will be thrown off course. No one likes to see what they understand being proven wrong.”

“Where are you going with this...”

“Right here. Right now.”

I knocked on my cast.

“Right in this cast is a part of me that I don’t talk about a lot. It’s a part of my life that leads me on the road, and makes me who I am. It’s a part I can never forget, for as long as I live. You won’t know a single thing about me unless you know everything available, so this is what will finally let you know.”

“I don’t want to know...”

“You don’t want to know more about the person you love?”

“I don’t... I want you to go away...”

“Just so I can be someone you can follow around? Someone you can look up to? It’s very selfish of you to do the same thing others have done to you, but I understand why you’d do such a thing. Haha, I can’t fault you for it either.”

The rain began to speed up, turning into a light pour. I made sure to speak above the sound of the rain so she could hear.

I spoke about my leg. I spoke about my time as a member of the basketball team, I spoke of my rivalry with someone from another school. I spoke on this rival with emphasis. Maybe I thought it could help her know how futile it is to follow me, knowing someone else was in my life. I spoke on why I did what I did, why I do what I do, why I am the way I am.

I spoke.

As she was silent.

When I finally got into the information about my leg and why it was important, she started to get up from her spot on the ground. She looked soaking wet, but it didn’t stop her from standing up and sitting right next to me as I told my story.

As I told her about the Devil.

Me, the Devil.

Devil-sama.

Devil-kun.

I let her know about me. I let her know who I am, and what I’m going to do. I don’t know why I told her all of this, but it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. None of this ever matters.

After I finally closed the curtains on this story, I rubbed the corners of my eyes and finally looked in her direction. My head zoned out during this retelling, so I wasn’t as focused on her face.

She looked... Back to her usual self.

Or at least, as close as she could get.

“I may have rambled on longer than I would’ve wished.” I rubbed my neck as I spoke.

“I... Enjoyed it. I don’t know if I can believe the part about your leg and... That other girl, but, I think I understand more about you.”

“Doesn’t that make you want to stop going after me?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“I knew you’d say something like that. I still have a few more tricks up my sleeves, though.”

She began to giggle, a gentle laugh barely audible beyond the sound of the pouring rain. Her eyes were still red from the tears, but her laugh still came out like it was only natural.

After she started laughing, she stared out above the treeline. Although it was raining, it was easy to tell that it was morning. That meant I spent a few hours talking about my life. Funny how things go like that, when people let you talk. When people let you exist. When they give you the room to let out everything inside your mind.

I had one more thing on my mind.

“Tamatsu...”

“Yes, Numachi?”

“Do you still believe you’re an alien? After everything that happened tonight, after not being able to find the star, do you still believe in what you do?”

She was quiet for a second, deep in thought.

“... Believing in facts is a strange way of thinking, Devil-kun, but in a way I still do. I won’t... Reject myself just because you reject me. No matter what happens, I’m here.”

All I could do was smile.

“I’m glad to hear you believe in yourself like that. I’m glad you know what you know.”

“There’s a lot of things I wish I didn’t know.”

“That’s my fault. I know that. I’m not going to apologize, but it’s good to acknowledge it.”

We stayed like this in the rain for some time, soaking in this moment and the water around us. I probably pruned up, but I didn’t care. I finally felt at peace with myself, after all of the self hatred and self doubt these last few days. With doubt comes failure, and I learned to accept the mystery that I will never know a firm conclusion.

And so, after these past few nightmarish days, I walked towards the village, with Tamatsu following right behind me.

Finally, taking this forgotten alien home.


	15. Chapter 15

In my opinion, this whole thing was less of a story and more of a depressing afterword. To close this afterword in full, I can supply this information.

After we arrived back in town, Tanabata was underway. It was filled with all sorts of people of all shapes and sizes, celebrating the holiday. We moved through the shopping district to reach her apartment complex, and it was filled to the brim with folks in yukata, umbrellas covering them from the heavy rain. 

We passed by a few stalls, some of them selling food and others hosting little games that may or may not be rigged. I saw some redheaded girl arguing with the person at the counter over her winning a prize, although with her hair she looked like a delinquent. Good luck winning him over.

Tamatsu decided to play at one of the games, a game involving a BB gun. She was a natural at the game, so I didn’t pay too much attention to her winning.

I was still in my own head.

Wondering why I did everything I did today. Why I’m still following around this girl, acting as support for her. It was a piece of my patented self doubt, wondering why I didn’t do what I was born to do. Why I rejected my display of cowardice. I could only shrug.

There doesn’t have to be a reason for it. It’s not like I know everything about myself.

Or other people.

And vice versa.

Tamatsu will never know the full me. She will have her assumptions, but they may as well be bets placed in gambling. Same goes for her understanding herself. She has no idea what’s in there. I was interested in that, if I was to be honest. She still said she was an alien, and that made things a lot more interesting.

I wanted to figure out why.

I wanted to crack the shell and see what’s underneath. Of course, I may never know what’s truly in there, but that’s the fun of it. As long as I’m not in harm's way, this will be a slight diversion in my path to collecting everything that will make me ‘me.’ This will be a hobby, a way to relax. A small vacation.

It’s selfish, but I’m fine with that.

There’s no need to rush.

Tamatsu looked back to me, holding a large stuffed animal, wearing a warm smile. A friendly smile. A loving smile. A smile that rejected the world around it. A smile that could be only caused by doing something she has always wanted to do.

From the way she looked, she was truly...

A normal girl.

**Author's Note:**

> Before I start this afterword, I have to give thanks to my good friend Null (@rinshankouhai) for editing this and smoothing out all the kinks before release day. The night before this was to come out, she spent it editing 87 pages, an achievement in of itself. You can see the fruit of her labor in every chapter of Star, which vouches for her passion, drive, and skill.  
> Without her help and mastery of the language I falter with on a daily basis, this story would not be as consistent and engaging as it is today. For that, I give my deepest thanks.  
> I recommend checking out her story Ougi Parallel, as it’s an incredible look into Ougi as a character and was one of my main inspirations to start writing again: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21723493/chapters/51819271  
> ...  
> As the second installment in this so-called series, it was the first time I experienced Impostor Syndrome first hand, and became well acquainted with it. This self-doubt and self-loathing was ugly, but it helped fuel me in writing this story and writing this lonesome Devil in a way that would be fresh and interesting. It made me come face to face with a common difficulty fanfiction writers have, or at least I assume is common: how much do I actually know about this character?  
> I thought long and hard about it, but ultimately I couldn’t give a straight answer. The age old quote, “Write what you know,” had merit for a reason; as these characters are pieces of an author’s mental state that we can only read into and enjoyed. As I don’t know NisiOisiN as a person —even I did, I would never fully understand him— I’m unable to grasp on everything that made Numachi Rouka who she is. I could only work with what was given to me, and make assumptions about her that may or may not turn false as NisiOisiN continues to write his own work.  
> But of course, once a work is complete, it’s out of the author’s hands.  
> So I won’t feel ashamed in my assumptions. All I can hope for is that you enjoyed them during your time here.  
> This ends the second half of KARIMONOGATARI, otherwise known as Borrowed Tale. I can fully say I’ve given back what I borrowed when I first watched Monogatari, but that doesn’t mean it ends here.  
> That means I get to be self indulgent with my next few works. This is why I mentioned “series” previously, as I don’t think I’m able to let go of the Devil, even if I tried. I won’t be working on the next installment for quite some time, as I overworked myself to death getting this one out, but I’ll let you know when the iron’s hot.  
> I also have to give thanks to:  
> Staffen (@FriendStaffen) for assisting me in editing, structure assistance, and being supportive in my goals and aspirations. Staffen wrote the fantastic book KAWARIMONOGATARI, which was also a huge inspiration for my own. Please check it out: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1297889  
> Cake (@freusan) for their passion in my work and cheering me on into the finish line. They helped me battle my own demons and without their help, this would’ve taken a few months more to send out.  
> Coffee (@poizonizland), who drew the cover for both Squid and Star. They cheered me on from day one, being one of the first people to read the first draft and to let me know I’ve made something good. One of my dearest friends and one of the best artists I know, I owe them more than I can properly explain.  
> My beloved Ruby (@leadenfist), the love of my life and my very own Star that shines brightly. Always the first to read my work and always my biggest fan, I owe them my life, and every work I will make owes it’s existence to them. I love you, Ruby.  
> I admit this one is tacky, but I also want to thank you, the reader, for reading and supporting me with your feedback. Thank you for everything. <3


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